Taste of My Own Medicine

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?
2 amazing girls. I seriously think my kids are super rad. The Phi turns 7 next week and Lulu will be 2 years old 10 days after that! We are about 97% sure that we are finished having kids but neither Joey nor I are ready to completely close shop. 

What are your thoughts on helicopter parents? 

I am going to call out my husband on this one. I have hovering tendencies. But Joey’s tendencies are way stronger than mine. He tends to jump in and do things for the kids instead of letting them go it alone. I totally understand that kids need their space and learn things on their own. But I also understand the desire to protect your child from EVERYTHING.


Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules
Nope, we have a routine only because school and work force us to. But if say we go to Palm Springs Farmers Market on a Thursday night and we get home past bedtime I don’t stress about it. As long as Lou gets a nap sometime during the day I’m good.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?
First that I am a part of it. For a long time I thought that I didn’t want kids. What also is surprising is how much I really do enjoy it. Well most of it anyways. I will never enjoy boogers or crappy diapers. I am also surprised how much your kids take on your personality and mannerisms. From an early age The Phi was talking like a valley girl. Just like I tend to do. (Like totally.) I was surprised that my kids were not exact carbon copies of me physically. I always imagined my kids would look just like me. (Ego much?) Instead they look A LOT like Joey and Lou looks like my sister Carissa. 

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?
No, he is way better. Joey is the type of person who questions himself a lot. So I was not sure how he would be when it came to making day to day decisions in raising kids. But it was like he was just meant to be a Daddy. He is completely hands-on and has been from day one. I can honestly say that we have changed an equal amount of diapers in our household. And the girls are completely in love with him. I don’t blame them. So am I.

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?
Joey named both girls. Sophia Renee and Louella. I gave Louella the middle name Blu as a little nod to my parents and their marriage. As for nicknames there are so many. The Phi came from just a shortened version of SoPHIa. And we use to call her Super Duper Kiddo but that quickly got shortened to Dupe or Supe. Louella we have shortened to Lou, Lulu and Louie. I use to call her Loumiester and that got shortened to Mies (pronounced mice) or Miesy. Joey calls both girls “Kiddo” and no of course that doesn’t get confusing. Not at all. Now that we have the 2 kids I find myself mixing up their names already. And with Lou and our dog Roo’s name sounding so similar I have been known to call the dog when I meant to call Lou.


Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I did. Just like my kids, my pregnancies were very different. One was easy and one was harder. Just like my kids personalities! When I was pregnant with Sophia is was easy. I felt good all the way until the end. My pregnancy with Lou was harder. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes early on and was on a strict diet and the first few months there was a lot of nausea. But despite those complications and checking my blood sugar 3 times a day, everyday. I still enjoyed it. It is a pretty amazing thing what your body goes through in such a short amount of time.


What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?
To incorporate your child into your life and not the other way around. I think Joey and I have been able to do a good job with this. We take our kids to places we have always liked going. Concerts, art museums, gallery openings, Las Vegas, etc...

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?
These days its a DVD player in the car. We make long drives often, like 3+ hours and without some snacks and some movies we would never make it to our destination.

What is your parenting philosophy?
Read to your children all the time. Don’t make empty threats. Be consistent and make sure your partner is on the same page. Expose the kids to as much art and music that I can. To tell my kids “I love you” many many times a day. To kiss them 100 times a day. I could go on and on.


When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
No. Geographically I hadn’t even heard of this town and now I am working, living and loving here. I thought I would be a famous writer living on the beach. I never imagined working in Human Resources and raising 2 girls. Even though its not where I thought I would end up I love my kids and my job. I did imagine having the type of marriage that I do though. Fun and easy.


What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?
I would like a spa day, or even just a nap. Last year Joey and the girls bought me a necklace that had the word “Mommy” in old English. Very gangsta, like me. It is one of my most favorite pieces of jewelry I own and I wear it everyday. It was a perfect gift.


How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?
Romance? Whaaa?? If you know my husband you know that romance has never been his forte. Flowers, candle light, Sade has never been our thing. Joey expresses his love for me through comedy. He shows me he loves me by making me laugh. All day. Every day. In fact if I laugh to hard at another man’s joke, Joey will get a bit jealous. And how do I show Joey that I love him daily? Well I haven’t left. Isn’t that enough. (haha just kidding) Oh and I recommend reading the Shades of Grey trilogy to keep things interesting in the bedroom.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?
The relationship between Joey and I have stayed pretty much the same. I am still obsessed with him and he thinks I’m pretty neat. Once we had kids I think we realized what a good team we are. We work well together. Our social life changed of course. Babies are not allowed at the Whiskey A-Go-Go, but we are both glad we had that time and we both think that this time in our lives is pretty awesome. I know that this is temporary, one day it will be back to just Joey and I and we will pick back up where we left off. Yes in about 18 years we will be the old people in the mosh pit at Warped Tour.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love going anywhere with my kids. We like to turn anything into an adventure. The most recent favorite thing we did was have a beach day. I love the beach and Phi was not a big fan until recently. When she begged me to stay longer, inside I was crying with happiness. There is just nothing better then spending the day in the sand and in the surf with your family. Bass Lake is always my favorite time of the year. Yes it’s even better than Christmas. 

What was your favorite book from childhood?
When I was really little I loved “The Monster at the End of This Book”. I think this is where my love for Grover and books began. I made my Mom read this to me so much that she eventually just tape recorded herself reading it (yes I said tape!) so that I could play it whenever I wanted. Man I wish I still had those tapes for my kids.

How do you deal with discipline in your house?
We don’t have a ton of rules. Time outs didn’t really work with Phi and Lou is still too young to understand the concept. Phi hardly ever gets in trouble but when she does we first take away her TV or her 3DS. I only spanked her once and that was for lying to me. I have a feeling that Lulu is going to be much more of a challenge and Joey and I will have to really discuss the best way to discipline her.

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?
The Phi is a pretty picky eater. When she was little she hated to eat meat. I don’t make separate meals so she has to eat what we all eat. If she doesn’t finish she doesn’t get a treat after dinner. I try to get creative when it comes to eating out. She use to always eat mac & cheese so I came up with the idea for her to search for the best cheeseburger around and we would take pictures and blog about it. Lulu will eat just about anything.

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
I like to make anything that they will devour. These days its pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. I love to see empty plates and happy faces.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?
My first call is to my sister Cari. Since she usually never answers her phone I call my Mom next. I trust their advice wholeheartedly.

Are you more relaxed with your second child?
Yes and No. With The Phi I read every book I can find on her age group. They tend to make me more paranoid but with Lou I feel more comfortable because I have been through it before. But because Lou is a much more curious and adventurous kid I have to keep a constant eye on her.

Who  is your Mom-spiration?
The Mom’s I interviewed for this project are just a few of the Mom’s who inspire me. Motherhood is tough and it is inspiring to know all these Mother’s who are so great at it. And of course my Mom. I will always aspire to have her kindness, strength and grace.


Thanks to all the Mom's who let me show off what amazing Mom they are. If you missed any of the interviews in the Mom-spiration series you can find them here...

Simi R.

Patricia P.

Irene Q.

Anna H.

Jackie W.

Michelle R.

Jessica S.

Lyndsey S.

Denise C. 

Crissy C.

Carissa G.

Mercy G.

Mom-spirations- Mercy

Mercy G. - My Mom

For my last Mom-spiration interview I am so excited to share my Mom, Mercy. My Mother is one amazing woman. She is the definition of motherhood wrapped in a beautiful package. My Mom is kind, sweet, generous, loving and fun to be around. She is funny and loud. To know her is to love her. Before we start let me answer some questions that I know you will have....

• No my Mom was not 10 years old when she had me. 
• Yes we do get mistaken for sister. 
• Yes I know my Mom is gorgeous.  

I love this interview. I hope you do too.

What is the most surprising this about parenthood?
The most surprising thing about parenthood is how natural it comes to you when you first become a mother. You go through so much doubt and turmoil during your pregnancy, but once the baby's born, it all comes so naturally.


Where the teenage years as hard as I imagine they will be?
Yes the teenage years are one of the toughest things for a parent to go through. The child is trying to cut the apron strings while the Mother is trying to keep her child safe and within her arms reach.


Is your partner the type of parent you imagined they would be?
You really don't know what kind of parent your partner will be until he becomes a parent. I thought Dad would be super strict when it came to boyfriends, but he was pretty laid back.


Where did your kids nicknames come from?
Dad loved to watch cartoons. He still does. All your nicknames come from him. They are all cartoon characters. (Magilla Gorilla, Baba Louie, Tweeters)


Did you enjoy pregnancy?
I enjoyed my pregnancies, especially my first one (YES! I win!) To me it was a time where I could eat whatever I wanted. Of course now things are different. Everyone is more health conscious.


What is the best parenting advice you have ever received?
The best parenting advice I ever received is that your can't spoil your kids by loving them too much, and don't yell at your kids.


What is your parenting philosophy?
My parenting philosophy is, teach your kids right from wrong and then let them learn through their own life's experiences.




When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
When I was 16, I imagined going to college and meeting the man of my dreams and having a beautiful family and living happily ever after. I was able to accomplish everything except a college education.


What is the ideal Mother's Day gift?
Flowers and a card is a great Mother's Day gift, but all I really want is for my kids to call me to wish me a happy Mother's day.


How did all your kids leaving the house change your marriage/relationship?
Once the kids were on their own, Dad and I rediscovered each other. We were like newlyweds all over again. We didn't have to worry about making too much noise (TMI?). Also your relationship with your children becomes stronger when they are on their own.


What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Of course my favorite thing to do with my kids is vacation at Bass Lake, such good memories! I also love when everyone is at our house and we're all just sitting around the table eating and talking. (The simple things).


What was your favorite book from your childhood?
I don't recall having a favorite childhood book. We didn't get bedtime stories at night. There were too many of us (9!). The only books we had at home when I was a child were my Mom's "True Story" magazines and my Dad's Spanish cowboy paperbacks. I discovered my love for reading later in life. My favorite book is "Rain of Gold".


How did you deal with discipline in your house?
Discipline- it only took one spanking. I didn't spank as a form of discipline. The one time I did, it came as a shock to you and to me and you didn't misbehave after that. Of course, I cried more than you after I spanked you. You got a "talking to" if you needed discipline.


What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
Back in the day, my favorite meal to make was cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. (easy & quick) Now it's enchiladas with rich and homemade beans, but I know that you also love my chicken spaghetti.

Where do you go to first when you need parenting advice?
I am very close to my sisters. They are my best friends. They are who I go to for advice, but when it comes to my kids, it's your Dad who I go to first. I trust his judgment 100%.


Were you more relaxed with your second/third child?
You definitely get more relaxed with your third child. Apparently Elaine had no curfew.

How is being a Nana different than being a parent? How is it the same?
Being a Nana is the best job in the world. The job of parenting a child in no longer in your hands. You just get to enjoy and love and spoil your Grandkids. It's the BEST job in the world. It doesn't matter  if you're the parent or the Nana. We both have the same objective, to keep the child safe and loved so they grow up to be a good person.


Who is your Mom-spiration? 
When I was little I always wondered how the mom on "Leave it to Beaver" or the Mom on "Brady Bunch", or the Mom on "The Partridge Family" (you get my drift), was always nicely dressed-up, in heels and make-up and the house looking immaculant. How did they do it? I now realize that my Mom was the best example of what a truly remarkable Mother should be. She loved us unconditionally and did everything in her power, with what she had, to see that we had a safe and loving childhood. She still does that. Sometimes you don't realize what a great Mother you had until you're on your own with your own family.

I asked my sister Cari to give me a few words about Mom,
"My Mom is the best Mom out there in every way. She has always been patient, loving, generous, and a great teacher. What I admire about her is her consistency of the person she is. You can always count on her to be herself. I think me and my sister are the Moms we are because of our mother. I remember her reading stories to us, taking us to the library, and going on family trips to the beach or Solvang. I know if I can be half of what my Mom was to me for my kids, then they will turn out great people. Our Mom is the rock of our family that keeps us as close as we are. I love you Mom and appreciate everything you do for us!"

I asked our youngest sister Elaine (the one who didn't have a curfew) to share her thoughts on Mom:
"My Mom is always there. Her cooking is simple, but nothing makes me happier than when I can replicate a meal. She is hilarious, always has a good comeback when my Pops is trying to be funny." 


My Mom's oldest grand-daughter Maria said...
"My Nana is the most generous person I know. The only time I have ever seen her mad is when she yells at Flip to stay away from the coyotes. She tries to give everyone everything they want. Her family sees her as a goddess and treats her like one too. She very much deserves it." 



Happy Mother's Day Mom. There is not a day that goes by where I don't catch myself saying something, or doing something just like you do. I know that everything I have learned about being a Mom to The Phi and Lou has come from growing up with you as my Mom. They way I can love them and have fun with them and even disciple them comes straight from you. And when I look at my girls I get it now. Every fight we had, every time I thought you were being mean and unfair, I totally get it now. You love me just like I love The Phi and Lou and that is so overwhelming. Knowing that you love me and Cari and Elaine that much is mind-blowing. Not only did you raise us with all the love and support in the world, you also taught us how to be good Mom's and now your grand-kids are reaping the benefits. You know you are the world's best Nana, they way The Phi completely adores you, follows you, and always wants to be with you should show you that. I am so happy to be able to spend this Mother's Day with you and with our family.

 I love you Mom, so very much.

Mom-spirations- Carissa

Carissa G.

Next up is my little sister Carissa. AKA. Cari. AKA Ouie. My sister Cari is my first call whenever I need any kid of parenting advice. For one she has a degree in childhood development so she has the book smarts on kids, and because she is an amazing Mom to 3 kids. A (so close) teenager and twins. Yes twins. Apparently Cari took all the fertility genes because as I struggled to have one, she unexpectedly had 2. Maybe it's the bum kidney? My sister Cari is the middle child and she is everything a middle child is suppose to be. A little bit weird and little bit different a little bit rebellious. (Lulu is so much like my sister it's scary). She is also an amazing Mom. She makes motherhood look easy. Wait let me rephrase that, she makes motherhood to an (almost) teen and twins look easy. She is fun, firm and fair. She is also a great Tia to Phi and God-Mother to Lulu.  

I made Cari answer a few questions for me. (I am the big sister so she has to do whatever I tell her to)

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?

I have 3 kids. 2 girls, 1 boy. (An almost 13 year old and almost 6 year old twins) I don't know if I will have more.

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?

I think it's natural for first time parents with that type of personality. But it usually out the window with the 2nd or 3rd kid. I feel you have to let your kids be at least a little indepdent and let them learn from their own mistakes.


Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules?

I think schedules are important with babies (not newborns), if you have multiples, or have kids with sleeping/eating problems. Now that the kids are 5, bedtime ranges from 8-9:30 on school nights and 10-up all night on weekends!

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

Even though it is the hardest job, it is also the most rewarding job. No matter how bad you want to lock yourself in the room or sell your kids, you know you wouldn't trade it for anything. Also how you can get used to gross things like gross diapers, the smell, barfing, etc.

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

Not exactly, but I think it is because he works so much and not because he doesn't want to. The kids are more attached to me since I am with them all the time (except school).

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?

Sooo many different things. "Chone" came from something that happened with Tia Elaine, I can't remember the story. "Pala" came from us calling Felix "Papa" and Lili would say "Pala". "Nachel Beiber" comes from Lili liking JB, but I don't know where the "Nachel" came from. There are so many more names...

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

Yes. Easy pregnancies with no morning sickness (yes, hate me!). Only hard part was when I bled with my 2nd pregnancy, but that led to me finding out it was twins. And when I had to go to the hopital with the twins cause they were squishing my good kidney.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

From my Nina/Tia Grace. She had twins so I asked her when I was pregnant with the twins how she did it. She told me "One at a time".

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?

I really liked the baby/bouncy chairs I had that grew with the kids all the way up to a chair for toddlers. Double stroller for the twins, especially the one that the infant car seats hooked up to. Must have - Boppy for breast feeding and when they start to sit.

What is your parenting philosophy?
Do the best you can with what you have. Love and play with your kids before they are to old to want to. Trust them until they give you a reason not to, but don't be blind to what they are doing. And have all their passwords to facebook, skype, i touch, etc.

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Not really, but at the same time, yes. I imagined I would be married and a Mom by 31. I didn't imagine having a 7th grader at 31 though.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

Spa day with my Mom and sisters! Or anything the kids put thought into.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

Lock the door.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

I think having a 5 year old when I started my relationship with my husband made it more serious from the beginning. We got engaged and found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. We got married when the twins were 7 months. So it kind of all went together. For me having kids takes us so much of my life, and it's hard to remember that you also have to work on your marriage. Maybe when the twins go to college we can start dating again :)

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

I like to watch shows or talk about school gossip and books with Angelica. I like to do Lili's nails and dance with her. I like to snuggle with Felix on Saturday mornings cause I know that will not last to much longer.

What was your favorite book from childhood?

I loved the Frog and Toad books and Sweet Pickles, especially Goof Off Goose (I'll do it, tomorrow!).

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

Usually taking something from them like a cell phone or DS. Sometimes we do time out. I will be first to admit Felix gets away with a lot more than anyone else.

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

Felix and Chone are picky, while Lili will eat almost anything. I am flexible with breakfast and lunch,  but when I make dinner they have to eat it. Sometimes I let them choose 1 thing not to eat from our dinner. The twins take vitamins to supplement.

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Chicken and rice and veggies. They usually eat this with the least complaints.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I go over things with my husband most of the time, but usually go with what I think is right. I guess a lot comes from what I learned getting my BA in Child Development.

What is the best part about having twins?

They have some one to play with them. And seeing their connection or them cracking up together. They always have someone at school or when with a babysitter.

        

Are you more relaxed with your second/third/child?

Definitely! I was very young and nervous with the first one. I was afraid to bring her home from the hospital. With the twins I was 7 years older and had a lot more experience with children.

Who  is your Mom-spiration?

My Mom of course! I don't know how she made it seem so easy.

I asked our Mom to give me her thoughts on my sister Cari as a Mom....
"Cari is an excellent Mother. She is calm. That's the best way to describe her as a Mother. She stays calm in all situations. She is very loving and nurturing and a very intelligent person. Maybe that's why she's such a good Mother. She's smart." 


I also asked her kids their thoughts on Mom:
"I think my Mom is a good Mom. I like when she buys me presents for Christmas" - Felix (5)

"I think my Mom is not a good Mom. I don't like when she gets us in trouble. I do like when she lets me and Celeste have a picnic outside" -Lili (5)




"I love my mom. Shes one of the very important role models I have in my life. We have fun times together whenever we can. We borrow each others clothes and share shoes. We don't always agree on things, but you can never stay mad at someone you love." - Maria (12)









Cari I have always looked up to you as a Mother. You are my first call when ever I have a question. You have been such an amazing role model for me when it comes to raising our crazy kids. Thank you for always being there for me. I hope you have a great Mother's Day and I really hope the teenage years with Chone are not too bad. I love you very much.

Mom-spiration- Crissy

Crissy C.

I met Crissy on one of the most scariest days of my life. The first day of high school. I was brand new to the area and she was starting public school for the first time. We both had PE first period and I sat next to her on the gym benches. She has been my partner in crime ever since. We have been through it all together. The good times (and man were there some good times) and the bad. Back in high school, out of the girls in our little group, Crissy was the one who we all knew would be a Mom. She was just made for the role. She has always been motherly. Even in college when we lived together Crissy was usually the one who made us dinner. Her lemon chicken is amazing. She was just meant to be a Momma. She is now the Mom to a beautiful boy named Eli. She claims she didn't name him after me, but I know she did.

And today is her BIRTHDAY!!! 

Here is my interview with Crissy, or as I call her Sam....

 Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules

 I am surprisingly not big on routine with Eli. I always imagined myself to be super structured as a mother, but honestly I just prefer to roll with the day as it comes because I feel like trying to remain on a rigid routine just stresses me out and ultimately leaves him stressed too. I try hard to give some semblance of a nighttime routine when we are home, but I totally believe in being flexible too so we aren’t chained to the house each night after long days at work. We like to get out at night at least a few times a week and grab dinner or stroll though a store. If that means abandoning a perfect routine then I can accept that. In fact being mobile is sometimes good for Eli because he can be very wound up at night, making routines like pulling teeth.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

 I guess I am most surprised at how the experience of being a parent can be so amazing and fulfilling, while at the same time so incredibly exhausting and draining…It takes all I have each day to be a working mother just trying to keep all the balls in the air, and still trying to be a “good enough” mom and wife. I suppose I just never thought about how hard that would be until I was living it. It’s worth every minute though to be Eli’s mama.  

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

 Since I was a step-mom to two great girls before introducing Eli into the world, I did have the unique opportunity to see Phill as a father before becoming parents together. I must say however that being a father to a son has shown me different sides of my husband…some a bit surprising. Let’s just say I never imagined what it would be like to be raising a boy and a man-child!! Thank God the dogs are girls or I would be severely outnumbered on a daily basis….

Where did your kids names come from?

 We took forever to decide on a name that we both could agree on, and that the girls weren’t opposed to. That was not easy trying to please everyone. The day that we went as a family to pick up Eli’s crib from the store was the day that I tossed out the name “Eli” to Phill and the girls. It was the first time no one had anything negative or sarcastic to say about one of my name choices. The girls had been great for pointing out all of the possible nicknames that may come of a particular name choice. The criteria for me were that the name have positive meaning, and not be a candidate for a shortened version that ends in “y.” (No offense to the many great guys I know with names ending in “y”) (haha pointing and laughing at you Joey!!)Anyway, when Eli seemed to be an easy crowd pleaser to Phill and the girls I knew that we had a winner. The name means “Faithful one” which has obvious value. We went into the crib store and I solidified the choice by buying the letters E-L-I to hang on the nursery wall. That was it and no one was going to change my mind.  (She left out the part where Eli is a boy verison of Elissa. Just saying) 

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

 My pregnancy was great in the sense that baby and I remained healthy throughout with no morning sickness. However, it got rough for me at about the sixth month because I developed an issue that required weekly chiropractic appointments to keep me able to walk without pain. That sucked!! I loved the being pregnant part though. I felt so blessed…. as big as a house, but still very blessed.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

 “Just listen to yourself because you know your own child the best.”

What is your parenting philosophy?

 To forgive myself for whatever I must be doing wrong, and enjoy as many of the simple pleasures of being his mother that I possibly can… I believe that you can’t love a kid too much so I indulge him often, hug him a lot, talk to him about anything he wants to talk about, make time for him when he wants my attention, and try to somehow instill tiny values in everything we do along the way…balanced with an occasional meltdown by mommy and/or Eli. I do the best I can to be his rock and his friend, and I hope it always stays that way.  

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

In so many ways this is exactly what I thought my life would be when I was 16, and in some ways it’s really different. I remember always wanting a family and a stable home life. I knew I wanted to be a mother and a wife, and I knew I would treasure those experiences. I also knew that I dreamt of being successful in a career too. Why didn’t anyone tell me that the balance of being a wife, mother, and professional was nearly impossible to achieve? This is hard work ladies!!! Somehow I think that I had a fairy tale version of my current reality in mind when I was 16.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

My first mother’s day, May 10^th 2009, was also by birthday. That was pretty cool and hard to top!! This year I feel like the perfect gift would be the opportunity to get ready for the day in private with no 3 year old eyes on me…followed by lot’s of hugs from Eli…and a relaxing day where I can truly enjoy being a mom.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

This is such a loaded question… and I’m sure Phill and I would have much different responses I find this romance thing very challenging these days. It has nothing to do with how much we love one another, but just the simple fact that we have so few opportunities to be alone. Even those times when we carve out some time as a couple, we still find ourselves in “parent mode.” I know that I try to pay attention to needing couple’s time, but as a working mom I also feel so guilty when I have to leave Eli behind even if that means being alone with Phill. It’s also so hard to feel romantic when you barely have time to remember who you are as an individual, much less as a wife. I know we are still doing our best to make time for our relationship, and to get to a place where we can also focus on us as a couple.     

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

It totally did change things because before Eli we had so much time to be with one another. We took for granted all those lazy Sunday afternoons, times when we could cuddle on the couch and days when we would sleep in and never get dressed at all. We laugh about those days sometimes... Now we wake up whenever Eli wakes us (day or night), we have to alternate whose turn it is to shower and get ready, and poor Phill has to contend with the fact that Eli breaks us apart each time he sees us get too close because he wants his mama all to himself. Yes, things have changed quite a bit around here. It’s all wonderful though in its’ own way. I can’t imagine changing a thing because Eli keeps things interesting and reminds us why our relationship together means so much.    

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

Eli loves a good movie… I really enjoy those times when he is calm and we can all sit and curl up with a movie and popcorn on the couch. He picks some good flicks too. We are bringing back the classics around here…”Free Willy,” “Karate Kid,” “Andre,” and “Wizard of Oz” to name a few. I mostly love the quite times just before I tuck him into bed when he tells me a long-winded story, hugs me goodnight, wipes off my kiss, and then tells me how much he loves me and how lucky he is. He thanks me almost every night for “building him such a pretty cool room.” Those little conversations that only mommy and Eli share mean so much to me and show me what an amazing little person he really is.

What was your favorite book from childhood?

Never was much of a reader…as my true friends will know. But the book, “Corduroy” comes to mind. The bear comes to life in the department store at night and has all these adventures. I always did, and sometimes still do, dream of getting locked in a department store (preferably Macy’s) at night. How great would that be?

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

I believe in delivering discipline with the balance of talking it out. Spanking just isn’t my first choice… and letting him know why he got in trouble and how to make a better choice is my primary goal. I always try to talk to him about the behavior that got him in trouble to begin with, and I let him know the consequences for the action before he makes a choice. I really do try to follow through with what I say. It is just as important to follow through on negative consequences, as it is to keep a promise… I want him to know I am serious and honest with him no matter if things are negative or positive.

 

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

Eli is a very simple eater. He rarely wants to take a risk and try something new. The selection of Eli-approved meals is slim and he takes forever to complete a meal because he is so distracted by life. I do grow impatient with how long feeding him can take. I just try to work with him to get in as many nutritious foods as I can, even if that means unconventional meals and chaotic mealtimes. 

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Eli loves mama’s Chocolate Chip cookies and I love to make them for him!! He proudly bites into the cookie and says, “My mama made this cookie for me and its good.”

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I usually consult my trusted Social Worker peers because they are the ladies that I encounter most often each day. When it’s serious though I call you Willis!!! (That's me. I'm Willis. Long story)

Who is your Mom-spiration?

There are qualities that I value in so many moms that I have been fortunate to have in my life over the years. I respect them all for their unique strengths and try to draw upon those examples when needed. I know that those are the ladies who made me who I am, and have shown me how to trust myself in being Eli’s mom today.

Since my Mom has known Crissy since she was 14 and was there to watch her grow up. I asked her to share some thoughts on Crissy as a Mom...
"Crissy is one of the most dedicated Mothers that I know. She is like a mother bear taking care of her baby cub. She is a good mother. Eli will grow up well cared for and well loved. I'm proud of you Crissy."

Sam, I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through my life without you. You have been there for me through the hard times and you were by my side during some of the best times. We have gone through our high school years, our wild college days, marriages, careers, and now babies. You are my family, my sistah! You are juggling one of the most stressful jobs and still manage to shower baby Eli with love and attention. I admire how you always follow your gut. You trust your judgement when it come to what it best for Eli. He is growing up with a Momma who showers him with love, teaches him right from wrong and will always be there for him. He is lucky to have you. Just like I am lucky to have you.

Happy Birthday Sam. 

and Happy Mothers Day

Mon-spirations- Denise C.

Denise C.

Let me start off by saying that Denise has 6 kids. Let me let that sink in........

Denise is a friend that I met through blogging. I loved reading about her life and her family and was really excited to learn she lived near us. (Stalker much?) Over the last few years we have been able to meet up at a few events here and there. There are so many things about Denise that I really admire. She is an amazing artist. I have one of her pieces on my hallway and its amazing. She also home-schools her kids. Yup all six of them. She also has an amazing marriage. Michael and Denise are so loving and sweet to each other. It is always so clear how much they adore each other. She is also manages to keep up a few blogs. She can do it all. I had to try to figure out how, so I asked her some questions....

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?

We have six children, ages 6, 8, 10, 11, 13 and 14. We are done. That's it. The factory is now closed. The party is over. It is finished. 

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

When I was dating my husband Michael, he was already a young father to a 2 year old boy. I saw, firsthand, what kind of father he was. He made him a huge part of his life--he bathed him, made sure he ate healthy food, played with him, and stayed involved in his life, even though he was no longer dating his mother. That is what made me fall in love with him. I knew he would play an active role in our future children's lives. Coming from a divorced family, this was incredibly important to me.

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I loved it. I must have, because I was pregnant for practically eight years. I loved being fertile and beautiful.

You have teens. How different is it from raising kids?

You think changing diapers at 3 a.m or chasing after a toddler all day is tough? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I am floored by how challenging it is to raise teenagers. They are a mess of hormones, they smell, they think they know everything, all the stuff they want is super expensive and they have pubic hair and "urges". I worry that I am adequately preparing them to succeed in life--that they will make poor choices and I will have them living with me until I am an old woman. I'll take worrying about making my own baby food vs. jarred food or breastfeeding or co-sleeping--any of the stupid parenting debates that take place-- any day.

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Hell, no. I planned on living in a cool loft with exposed brick, hanging out with all of my cool artist friends, being a cool artist creating cool art, traveling to cool places and living life.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I once went to a parenting conference, and the speaker was an old hillbilly dude with a long white beard from the backwoods of Tennessee. His radical views on parenting--discipline, training, homeschooling, etc.--made so much sense to me. Our lives and backgrounds couldn't be more different, but there is truth and simplicity in their ways, so I always seem to gravitate back to their parenting advice.

 What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

The gift of peace and quiet is always appreciated. So is an afternoon out with my mom and sister--going to the movies, lunch and getting a pedicure. As long as I don't have to cook for the entire day, I'm happy.


Denise is not the only talented one in the family. Her little brother Jeshua is just as talented. I asked him to tell me a little bit about Denise as a Momma....


"Being Denise's little brother I have seen her go through many changes/phases throughout the years from magenta-haired "artiste", collegiate Feminist to roll your own oats, all natural "nuts an berries" organic goat milk lady. Hah. Through her style may change one thing that is a constant is her beautiful spirit and love and devotion to her family. I see her commitment to her children's education and her inner strength she summons everyday to homeschool my six, yeah SIX nieces and nephews who are ALWAYS soooo well behaved and cooperative. She does this all while balancing multiple blogs and writing jobs, art projects, being the cook, the maid, chauffeur, the wife and the rock of the family. And through all that she STILL manages to be big sister and friend and to pay me for all the nice things I just said"




Denise, I really don't know how you do it but you do and you look fierce while doing it! Thanks for taking some time to answer some questions for me You make large family living look easy and super fun. Happy Mother's Day. I hope all your babies spoil you rotten. 


You can read more about Denise and her tribe over on her blog at Pearmama. 

Mom-spiratons- Lyndsey

Lyndsey S.

I met Lyndsey when she occupied the teller station next to me. We met at work and out of all those years I was in banking, meeting Lyndsey (and Tino!) were the best part. When you see Lyndsey she looks like a quite, mild-mannered girl. DO NOT let that fool you. She is funny and quick and could make even 8 hours at the bank a whole lot of fun. I looked forward to work because Lyndsey was the best to goof around with. She named her car Cookie and I was so sad when she moved away from Santa Barbara. Lyndsey is a Mom to a gorgeous girl and for many years Lyndsey did it on her own. That kind of work and strength is so amazing to me. It takes someone extraordinary to not only be a single Mom, but to raise a smart, kind and loving daughter.

I asked Lyndsey a few questions.......

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?
I am not a fan of helicopter parenting for a number of reasons.  Mostly because I work in the courts and those are the parents calling to make excuses for their kids, pay their fines for them and call again when they miss court.  It never seems to end.  I also don’t like those kinds of parents on the playground.  I sometimes want to yell—“Just let your kids be!!”
 
Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules?
When she was of the nap taking age, I did try to stick to her schedule because it was never fun dealing with a child that has not had their naps.  Kids without naps can start a revolution.  (Word up!)
 
Most surprising thing about parenthood?
Isabella and I are so much alike.  Some people say she is me with curly hair and a great tan but it’s more than just looks.  I feel like I am looking into a mirror most days with her mannerisms.  Her tendency to get emotional.  Her sense of humor.  Her attitude.  How do I get one up on ME?  
 
Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?
Isabella Grace was a name that I gave her after Carmella & Isadore (her great-great-great Grandparents) and Grace was her Great-Grandmother’s name.  She goes by Isy (her spelling) and I call her Tookie sometimes.  I am not sure where I picked up Tookie but it stuck.  
 
Did you enjoy pregnancy?
I did for the most part.  I remember the first time I felt her really move in my belly and I cried.  She was such a peaceful baby that when she wouldn’t move for a day or two I would drink orange juice to get her kicking.  I did not have any complications aside from the weight gain which was my fault.  I never felt so important and loved during my pregnancy and I hadn’t even met her yet! The last month was pretty hard because I was driving to work in a car with no air conditioning in the dry hot heat of summer of Riverside, CA.
 
What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?
When I told my dad I was pregnant, he told me, “Now begins the day when you will never stop worrying.”  How true that is.
 
What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?
When Isabella was a baby I LOVED the baby back pack that had a kick stand so I could maneuver it without help.  I took her everywhere in that thing.  In Idaho you have to be able to pack a baby in and pack a baby out.
 

What is your parenting philosophy? 
Without taking up too much room on this one, I will just say that I want to raise a daughter with strong enough neck muscles to always hold her head high.  While there is much more to it, this is something that is important to me that I pass on to her.
 
When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
No, when I was 16 years old, I was going to move to the big city and never see these wheat fields again.
 
What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?
My ideal mother’s day gift is doing projects around the house.  I want to see some weeds getting pulled, some paint being applied….I want them to work!  Mostly, I just want to spend it with my family.
 
What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Isabella has always been a pretty fierce shopper.  Even at 3 years old she would notice fabrics, textures, colors, etc.  We love to cook.  She is really big into Cupcake Wars on Food Network and we try to come up with the best ones.  
 
What was your favorite book from childhood?
Sweet Valley High of course!
 
How do you deal with discipline in your house?
I can count on one hand how many times I spanked Isabella.  The first time I did it I had to go into the bathroom so I could cry (see, I told you I was emo).  I believe in spanking for some kids if that is what works for them but it never did with Isabella and I never liked giving her one.  What worked with her is getting down to her level (literally) and talking to her.  Discipline these days includes taking away the ipod and laptop which works great.  
 
Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?
No. From a very young age she was always eating things other kids wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.  I would like to think that making her own baby food and not what I call “dumbing down” her food from the beginning helped.  Kids don’t need to cover veggies with tons of butter, salt or other things to mask them.  She is a great date because she likes to try new foods.
 
What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
Isabella loves sushi.  We have a lot of fun making that—even if it doesn’t look so pretty.  
 

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?
I usually call my best friend Kelly first.  I can tell her the whole story and nothing but the truth and not be ashamed of it because let’s be honest…being a mom is hard sometimes.  Being a mom has taught me that my mom is just like me—human. Kelly gives me sound advice and then we find a way to laugh about it.


Who is your Mom-spiration?
I have a lot of great moms in my life that I draw inspiration from so it’s hard to narrow it down to one.  My mom worked so hard for my brother and I when we were babies.  She always tried her best to be there for us even when holding multiple jobs.  I have friends that are moms to kids with special medical needs.  I have friends that are step moms.  Moms with multiple kids and jobs.  Moms that would give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  Moms with crazy cool blogs. My mom-spirations are all around me.
 


I asked Lyndsey's brother to share a few words with me about Lyndsey the Mom. 
(Be warned his response will make you cry!)...
"From the moment Lyndsey told me she was pregnant, I knew she would be a great mother. At that moment she was crying. I knew her tears were not from fear of being able to be a good mom, but fear of how her older brother would accept her pregnancy. Through her tear filled eyes I saw the courage of a young woman that always wanted to be a mother and knew she could do it. Over the years I have watched Lyndsey make every decision regarding her and her daughter in a very calculated and measured manner. Sure, she faced and still does face challenges. However, I envy her ability to face them head on with diligence. I admire my sister as a mother mostly because of the amount of care and love she puts in to being a mom. She has extraordinary balance in the way she is a mom. She demands the right stuff but shows how to do it by her actions rather than words. I love my sister and always have but I admire her wisdom as a mother as well. I know that Isabella will turn out to be a caring, loving, dedicated, and strong woman someday because of her beautiful mother, Lyndsey."


I also asked Jeremie, Lyndsey's BF to share a few sentences with me about Lyndsey the Mom. He had some wonderful things to say...
"Lyndsey is an outstanding mother. She puts her daughter Isabella above anything and everything else in her life. All of her decisions, both major and minor have the best interests of her little girl in mind. Of course Lyndsey does all of the important things you would expect of a Mom: she *provides* for her daughter, at times amidst great hardship in her own life. Lyndsey will *sacrifice* for her daughter whenever necessary, and without complaint. She's loving and affectionate, she encourages and supports, she teaches and learns, she corrects and disciplines. Lyndsey *makes* time for her daughter when there is none. The result is a good-natured, astute little girl that everyone seems to enjoy. They're relationship is both mother/daughter and BFF at the same time, and they seem to negotiate this line deftly. One of the things that amazes me most about their relationship is how often, and how hard they can make each other* laugh*. I frequently step into a room to find them both in hysterics, teary-eyed, about to pee in their pants! I'm left wondering what I've missed, and no matter how many times they try to explain it to me, I fail to see their humor. In my opinion, this scene is the sum of their relationship."


I also asked Lyndsey's Mom to share her thoughts...
"My girl, Lyndsey, is a spectacular Mommy... As to provide a better life for her little girl, Lyndsey went back to school, graduating with dual majors. When Lyndsey comes home after a long day at work, Isabella's face glows with happiness at the sound of her voice.. In spite of Lyndsey's long work hours, she strives to create special Mommy-daughter time. Be it the Moscow Food Co-op, mani-pedis, shopping, Jamm's, or, simply snuggling on the sofa, watching a movie. Isabella is secure, knowing her Mommy will always be there for her. Lyndsey encourages Izzy's creative nature, supporting her love of band, choir, and art. Lyndsey gently nurtures Isabella with understanding and patience. At the same time, she is strict, as her obedient little girl, has begun to blossom into a "tween". and she wants to keep her obedient. I know Lyndsey will embrace the trying teen years with fairness and love, because that is the kind of person Lyndsey is. The primary focus of Lyndsey's life is her daughter. When thinking of their bond, my heart swells with overflowing emotion. I am very, very proud of Lyndsey, she is an adult, and a mom, but, she will always be my little girl. Happy Mother's Day, sweetie!"

Lyndsey I have to tell you. The toughest part of these interviews has been getting quotes from family and friends. Except for yours. I got some amazing and very quick responses. I think this says a lot about you girl. You are very loved and appreciated.  You are a rock star and I love you and that beautiful daughter of yours very much. Have a great Mother's Day!