Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday 

to the most amazing 

Mom in the world. 

You love us all

with everything you have.

And we love you just as much

right back. 

Have a great day and an

amazing vacation. 

Project 366- July

Just me and The Phi. Doing what we do. 

Taste of My Own Medicine

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?
2 amazing girls. I seriously think my kids are super rad. The Phi turns 7 next week and Lulu will be 2 years old 10 days after that! We are about 97% sure that we are finished having kids but neither Joey nor I are ready to completely close shop. 

What are your thoughts on helicopter parents? 

I am going to call out my husband on this one. I have hovering tendencies. But Joey’s tendencies are way stronger than mine. He tends to jump in and do things for the kids instead of letting them go it alone. I totally understand that kids need their space and learn things on their own. But I also understand the desire to protect your child from EVERYTHING.


Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules
Nope, we have a routine only because school and work force us to. But if say we go to Palm Springs Farmers Market on a Thursday night and we get home past bedtime I don’t stress about it. As long as Lou gets a nap sometime during the day I’m good.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?
First that I am a part of it. For a long time I thought that I didn’t want kids. What also is surprising is how much I really do enjoy it. Well most of it anyways. I will never enjoy boogers or crappy diapers. I am also surprised how much your kids take on your personality and mannerisms. From an early age The Phi was talking like a valley girl. Just like I tend to do. (Like totally.) I was surprised that my kids were not exact carbon copies of me physically. I always imagined my kids would look just like me. (Ego much?) Instead they look A LOT like Joey and Lou looks like my sister Carissa. 

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?
No, he is way better. Joey is the type of person who questions himself a lot. So I was not sure how he would be when it came to making day to day decisions in raising kids. But it was like he was just meant to be a Daddy. He is completely hands-on and has been from day one. I can honestly say that we have changed an equal amount of diapers in our household. And the girls are completely in love with him. I don’t blame them. So am I.

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?
Joey named both girls. Sophia Renee and Louella. I gave Louella the middle name Blu as a little nod to my parents and their marriage. As for nicknames there are so many. The Phi came from just a shortened version of SoPHIa. And we use to call her Super Duper Kiddo but that quickly got shortened to Dupe or Supe. Louella we have shortened to Lou, Lulu and Louie. I use to call her Loumiester and that got shortened to Mies (pronounced mice) or Miesy. Joey calls both girls “Kiddo” and no of course that doesn’t get confusing. Not at all. Now that we have the 2 kids I find myself mixing up their names already. And with Lou and our dog Roo’s name sounding so similar I have been known to call the dog when I meant to call Lou.


Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I did. Just like my kids, my pregnancies were very different. One was easy and one was harder. Just like my kids personalities! When I was pregnant with Sophia is was easy. I felt good all the way until the end. My pregnancy with Lou was harder. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes early on and was on a strict diet and the first few months there was a lot of nausea. But despite those complications and checking my blood sugar 3 times a day, everyday. I still enjoyed it. It is a pretty amazing thing what your body goes through in such a short amount of time.


What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?
To incorporate your child into your life and not the other way around. I think Joey and I have been able to do a good job with this. We take our kids to places we have always liked going. Concerts, art museums, gallery openings, Las Vegas, etc...

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?
These days its a DVD player in the car. We make long drives often, like 3+ hours and without some snacks and some movies we would never make it to our destination.

What is your parenting philosophy?
Read to your children all the time. Don’t make empty threats. Be consistent and make sure your partner is on the same page. Expose the kids to as much art and music that I can. To tell my kids “I love you” many many times a day. To kiss them 100 times a day. I could go on and on.


When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
No. Geographically I hadn’t even heard of this town and now I am working, living and loving here. I thought I would be a famous writer living on the beach. I never imagined working in Human Resources and raising 2 girls. Even though its not where I thought I would end up I love my kids and my job. I did imagine having the type of marriage that I do though. Fun and easy.


What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?
I would like a spa day, or even just a nap. Last year Joey and the girls bought me a necklace that had the word “Mommy” in old English. Very gangsta, like me. It is one of my most favorite pieces of jewelry I own and I wear it everyday. It was a perfect gift.


How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?
Romance? Whaaa?? If you know my husband you know that romance has never been his forte. Flowers, candle light, Sade has never been our thing. Joey expresses his love for me through comedy. He shows me he loves me by making me laugh. All day. Every day. In fact if I laugh to hard at another man’s joke, Joey will get a bit jealous. And how do I show Joey that I love him daily? Well I haven’t left. Isn’t that enough. (haha just kidding) Oh and I recommend reading the Shades of Grey trilogy to keep things interesting in the bedroom.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?
The relationship between Joey and I have stayed pretty much the same. I am still obsessed with him and he thinks I’m pretty neat. Once we had kids I think we realized what a good team we are. We work well together. Our social life changed of course. Babies are not allowed at the Whiskey A-Go-Go, but we are both glad we had that time and we both think that this time in our lives is pretty awesome. I know that this is temporary, one day it will be back to just Joey and I and we will pick back up where we left off. Yes in about 18 years we will be the old people in the mosh pit at Warped Tour.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love going anywhere with my kids. We like to turn anything into an adventure. The most recent favorite thing we did was have a beach day. I love the beach and Phi was not a big fan until recently. When she begged me to stay longer, inside I was crying with happiness. There is just nothing better then spending the day in the sand and in the surf with your family. Bass Lake is always my favorite time of the year. Yes it’s even better than Christmas. 

What was your favorite book from childhood?
When I was really little I loved “The Monster at the End of This Book”. I think this is where my love for Grover and books began. I made my Mom read this to me so much that she eventually just tape recorded herself reading it (yes I said tape!) so that I could play it whenever I wanted. Man I wish I still had those tapes for my kids.

How do you deal with discipline in your house?
We don’t have a ton of rules. Time outs didn’t really work with Phi and Lou is still too young to understand the concept. Phi hardly ever gets in trouble but when she does we first take away her TV or her 3DS. I only spanked her once and that was for lying to me. I have a feeling that Lulu is going to be much more of a challenge and Joey and I will have to really discuss the best way to discipline her.

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?
The Phi is a pretty picky eater. When she was little she hated to eat meat. I don’t make separate meals so she has to eat what we all eat. If she doesn’t finish she doesn’t get a treat after dinner. I try to get creative when it comes to eating out. She use to always eat mac & cheese so I came up with the idea for her to search for the best cheeseburger around and we would take pictures and blog about it. Lulu will eat just about anything.

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
I like to make anything that they will devour. These days its pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. I love to see empty plates and happy faces.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?
My first call is to my sister Cari. Since she usually never answers her phone I call my Mom next. I trust their advice wholeheartedly.

Are you more relaxed with your second child?
Yes and No. With The Phi I read every book I can find on her age group. They tend to make me more paranoid but with Lou I feel more comfortable because I have been through it before. But because Lou is a much more curious and adventurous kid I have to keep a constant eye on her.

Who  is your Mom-spiration?
The Mom’s I interviewed for this project are just a few of the Mom’s who inspire me. Motherhood is tough and it is inspiring to know all these Mother’s who are so great at it. And of course my Mom. I will always aspire to have her kindness, strength and grace.


Thanks to all the Mom's who let me show off what amazing Mom they are. If you missed any of the interviews in the Mom-spiration series you can find them here...

Simi R.

Patricia P.

Irene Q.

Anna H.

Jackie W.

Michelle R.

Jessica S.

Lyndsey S.

Denise C. 

Crissy C.

Carissa G.

Mercy G.

Mom-spirations- Mercy

Mercy G. - My Mom

For my last Mom-spiration interview I am so excited to share my Mom, Mercy. My Mother is one amazing woman. She is the definition of motherhood wrapped in a beautiful package. My Mom is kind, sweet, generous, loving and fun to be around. She is funny and loud. To know her is to love her. Before we start let me answer some questions that I know you will have....

• No my Mom was not 10 years old when she had me. 
• Yes we do get mistaken for sister. 
• Yes I know my Mom is gorgeous.  

I love this interview. I hope you do too.

What is the most surprising this about parenthood?
The most surprising thing about parenthood is how natural it comes to you when you first become a mother. You go through so much doubt and turmoil during your pregnancy, but once the baby's born, it all comes so naturally.


Where the teenage years as hard as I imagine they will be?
Yes the teenage years are one of the toughest things for a parent to go through. The child is trying to cut the apron strings while the Mother is trying to keep her child safe and within her arms reach.


Is your partner the type of parent you imagined they would be?
You really don't know what kind of parent your partner will be until he becomes a parent. I thought Dad would be super strict when it came to boyfriends, but he was pretty laid back.


Where did your kids nicknames come from?
Dad loved to watch cartoons. He still does. All your nicknames come from him. They are all cartoon characters. (Magilla Gorilla, Baba Louie, Tweeters)


Did you enjoy pregnancy?
I enjoyed my pregnancies, especially my first one (YES! I win!) To me it was a time where I could eat whatever I wanted. Of course now things are different. Everyone is more health conscious.


What is the best parenting advice you have ever received?
The best parenting advice I ever received is that your can't spoil your kids by loving them too much, and don't yell at your kids.


What is your parenting philosophy?
My parenting philosophy is, teach your kids right from wrong and then let them learn through their own life's experiences.




When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
When I was 16, I imagined going to college and meeting the man of my dreams and having a beautiful family and living happily ever after. I was able to accomplish everything except a college education.


What is the ideal Mother's Day gift?
Flowers and a card is a great Mother's Day gift, but all I really want is for my kids to call me to wish me a happy Mother's day.


How did all your kids leaving the house change your marriage/relationship?
Once the kids were on their own, Dad and I rediscovered each other. We were like newlyweds all over again. We didn't have to worry about making too much noise (TMI?). Also your relationship with your children becomes stronger when they are on their own.


What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Of course my favorite thing to do with my kids is vacation at Bass Lake, such good memories! I also love when everyone is at our house and we're all just sitting around the table eating and talking. (The simple things).


What was your favorite book from your childhood?
I don't recall having a favorite childhood book. We didn't get bedtime stories at night. There were too many of us (9!). The only books we had at home when I was a child were my Mom's "True Story" magazines and my Dad's Spanish cowboy paperbacks. I discovered my love for reading later in life. My favorite book is "Rain of Gold".


How did you deal with discipline in your house?
Discipline- it only took one spanking. I didn't spank as a form of discipline. The one time I did, it came as a shock to you and to me and you didn't misbehave after that. Of course, I cried more than you after I spanked you. You got a "talking to" if you needed discipline.


What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
Back in the day, my favorite meal to make was cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. (easy & quick) Now it's enchiladas with rich and homemade beans, but I know that you also love my chicken spaghetti.

Where do you go to first when you need parenting advice?
I am very close to my sisters. They are my best friends. They are who I go to for advice, but when it comes to my kids, it's your Dad who I go to first. I trust his judgment 100%.


Were you more relaxed with your second/third child?
You definitely get more relaxed with your third child. Apparently Elaine had no curfew.

How is being a Nana different than being a parent? How is it the same?
Being a Nana is the best job in the world. The job of parenting a child in no longer in your hands. You just get to enjoy and love and spoil your Grandkids. It's the BEST job in the world. It doesn't matter  if you're the parent or the Nana. We both have the same objective, to keep the child safe and loved so they grow up to be a good person.


Who is your Mom-spiration? 
When I was little I always wondered how the mom on "Leave it to Beaver" or the Mom on "Brady Bunch", or the Mom on "The Partridge Family" (you get my drift), was always nicely dressed-up, in heels and make-up and the house looking immaculant. How did they do it? I now realize that my Mom was the best example of what a truly remarkable Mother should be. She loved us unconditionally and did everything in her power, with what she had, to see that we had a safe and loving childhood. She still does that. Sometimes you don't realize what a great Mother you had until you're on your own with your own family.

I asked my sister Cari to give me a few words about Mom,
"My Mom is the best Mom out there in every way. She has always been patient, loving, generous, and a great teacher. What I admire about her is her consistency of the person she is. You can always count on her to be herself. I think me and my sister are the Moms we are because of our mother. I remember her reading stories to us, taking us to the library, and going on family trips to the beach or Solvang. I know if I can be half of what my Mom was to me for my kids, then they will turn out great people. Our Mom is the rock of our family that keeps us as close as we are. I love you Mom and appreciate everything you do for us!"

I asked our youngest sister Elaine (the one who didn't have a curfew) to share her thoughts on Mom:
"My Mom is always there. Her cooking is simple, but nothing makes me happier than when I can replicate a meal. She is hilarious, always has a good comeback when my Pops is trying to be funny." 


My Mom's oldest grand-daughter Maria said...
"My Nana is the most generous person I know. The only time I have ever seen her mad is when she yells at Flip to stay away from the coyotes. She tries to give everyone everything they want. Her family sees her as a goddess and treats her like one too. She very much deserves it." 



Happy Mother's Day Mom. There is not a day that goes by where I don't catch myself saying something, or doing something just like you do. I know that everything I have learned about being a Mom to The Phi and Lou has come from growing up with you as my Mom. They way I can love them and have fun with them and even disciple them comes straight from you. And when I look at my girls I get it now. Every fight we had, every time I thought you were being mean and unfair, I totally get it now. You love me just like I love The Phi and Lou and that is so overwhelming. Knowing that you love me and Cari and Elaine that much is mind-blowing. Not only did you raise us with all the love and support in the world, you also taught us how to be good Mom's and now your grand-kids are reaping the benefits. You know you are the world's best Nana, they way The Phi completely adores you, follows you, and always wants to be with you should show you that. I am so happy to be able to spend this Mother's Day with you and with our family.

 I love you Mom, so very much.

Mom-spirations- Carissa

Carissa G.

Next up is my little sister Carissa. AKA. Cari. AKA Ouie. My sister Cari is my first call whenever I need any kid of parenting advice. For one she has a degree in childhood development so she has the book smarts on kids, and because she is an amazing Mom to 3 kids. A (so close) teenager and twins. Yes twins. Apparently Cari took all the fertility genes because as I struggled to have one, she unexpectedly had 2. Maybe it's the bum kidney? My sister Cari is the middle child and she is everything a middle child is suppose to be. A little bit weird and little bit different a little bit rebellious. (Lulu is so much like my sister it's scary). She is also an amazing Mom. She makes motherhood look easy. Wait let me rephrase that, she makes motherhood to an (almost) teen and twins look easy. She is fun, firm and fair. She is also a great Tia to Phi and God-Mother to Lulu.  

I made Cari answer a few questions for me. (I am the big sister so she has to do whatever I tell her to)

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?

I have 3 kids. 2 girls, 1 boy. (An almost 13 year old and almost 6 year old twins) I don't know if I will have more.

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?

I think it's natural for first time parents with that type of personality. But it usually out the window with the 2nd or 3rd kid. I feel you have to let your kids be at least a little indepdent and let them learn from their own mistakes.


Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules?

I think schedules are important with babies (not newborns), if you have multiples, or have kids with sleeping/eating problems. Now that the kids are 5, bedtime ranges from 8-9:30 on school nights and 10-up all night on weekends!

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

Even though it is the hardest job, it is also the most rewarding job. No matter how bad you want to lock yourself in the room or sell your kids, you know you wouldn't trade it for anything. Also how you can get used to gross things like gross diapers, the smell, barfing, etc.

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

Not exactly, but I think it is because he works so much and not because he doesn't want to. The kids are more attached to me since I am with them all the time (except school).

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?

Sooo many different things. "Chone" came from something that happened with Tia Elaine, I can't remember the story. "Pala" came from us calling Felix "Papa" and Lili would say "Pala". "Nachel Beiber" comes from Lili liking JB, but I don't know where the "Nachel" came from. There are so many more names...

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

Yes. Easy pregnancies with no morning sickness (yes, hate me!). Only hard part was when I bled with my 2nd pregnancy, but that led to me finding out it was twins. And when I had to go to the hopital with the twins cause they were squishing my good kidney.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

From my Nina/Tia Grace. She had twins so I asked her when I was pregnant with the twins how she did it. She told me "One at a time".

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?

I really liked the baby/bouncy chairs I had that grew with the kids all the way up to a chair for toddlers. Double stroller for the twins, especially the one that the infant car seats hooked up to. Must have - Boppy for breast feeding and when they start to sit.

What is your parenting philosophy?
Do the best you can with what you have. Love and play with your kids before they are to old to want to. Trust them until they give you a reason not to, but don't be blind to what they are doing. And have all their passwords to facebook, skype, i touch, etc.

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Not really, but at the same time, yes. I imagined I would be married and a Mom by 31. I didn't imagine having a 7th grader at 31 though.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

Spa day with my Mom and sisters! Or anything the kids put thought into.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

Lock the door.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

I think having a 5 year old when I started my relationship with my husband made it more serious from the beginning. We got engaged and found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. We got married when the twins were 7 months. So it kind of all went together. For me having kids takes us so much of my life, and it's hard to remember that you also have to work on your marriage. Maybe when the twins go to college we can start dating again :)

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

I like to watch shows or talk about school gossip and books with Angelica. I like to do Lili's nails and dance with her. I like to snuggle with Felix on Saturday mornings cause I know that will not last to much longer.

What was your favorite book from childhood?

I loved the Frog and Toad books and Sweet Pickles, especially Goof Off Goose (I'll do it, tomorrow!).

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

Usually taking something from them like a cell phone or DS. Sometimes we do time out. I will be first to admit Felix gets away with a lot more than anyone else.

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

Felix and Chone are picky, while Lili will eat almost anything. I am flexible with breakfast and lunch,  but when I make dinner they have to eat it. Sometimes I let them choose 1 thing not to eat from our dinner. The twins take vitamins to supplement.

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Chicken and rice and veggies. They usually eat this with the least complaints.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I go over things with my husband most of the time, but usually go with what I think is right. I guess a lot comes from what I learned getting my BA in Child Development.

What is the best part about having twins?

They have some one to play with them. And seeing their connection or them cracking up together. They always have someone at school or when with a babysitter.

        

Are you more relaxed with your second/third/child?

Definitely! I was very young and nervous with the first one. I was afraid to bring her home from the hospital. With the twins I was 7 years older and had a lot more experience with children.

Who  is your Mom-spiration?

My Mom of course! I don't know how she made it seem so easy.

I asked our Mom to give me her thoughts on my sister Cari as a Mom....
"Cari is an excellent Mother. She is calm. That's the best way to describe her as a Mother. She stays calm in all situations. She is very loving and nurturing and a very intelligent person. Maybe that's why she's such a good Mother. She's smart." 


I also asked her kids their thoughts on Mom:
"I think my Mom is a good Mom. I like when she buys me presents for Christmas" - Felix (5)

"I think my Mom is not a good Mom. I don't like when she gets us in trouble. I do like when she lets me and Celeste have a picnic outside" -Lili (5)




"I love my mom. Shes one of the very important role models I have in my life. We have fun times together whenever we can. We borrow each others clothes and share shoes. We don't always agree on things, but you can never stay mad at someone you love." - Maria (12)









Cari I have always looked up to you as a Mother. You are my first call when ever I have a question. You have been such an amazing role model for me when it comes to raising our crazy kids. Thank you for always being there for me. I hope you have a great Mother's Day and I really hope the teenage years with Chone are not too bad. I love you very much.

Mon-spirations- Denise C.

Denise C.

Let me start off by saying that Denise has 6 kids. Let me let that sink in........

Denise is a friend that I met through blogging. I loved reading about her life and her family and was really excited to learn she lived near us. (Stalker much?) Over the last few years we have been able to meet up at a few events here and there. There are so many things about Denise that I really admire. She is an amazing artist. I have one of her pieces on my hallway and its amazing. She also home-schools her kids. Yup all six of them. She also has an amazing marriage. Michael and Denise are so loving and sweet to each other. It is always so clear how much they adore each other. She is also manages to keep up a few blogs. She can do it all. I had to try to figure out how, so I asked her some questions....

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?

We have six children, ages 6, 8, 10, 11, 13 and 14. We are done. That's it. The factory is now closed. The party is over. It is finished. 

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

When I was dating my husband Michael, he was already a young father to a 2 year old boy. I saw, firsthand, what kind of father he was. He made him a huge part of his life--he bathed him, made sure he ate healthy food, played with him, and stayed involved in his life, even though he was no longer dating his mother. That is what made me fall in love with him. I knew he would play an active role in our future children's lives. Coming from a divorced family, this was incredibly important to me.

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I loved it. I must have, because I was pregnant for practically eight years. I loved being fertile and beautiful.

You have teens. How different is it from raising kids?

You think changing diapers at 3 a.m or chasing after a toddler all day is tough? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I am floored by how challenging it is to raise teenagers. They are a mess of hormones, they smell, they think they know everything, all the stuff they want is super expensive and they have pubic hair and "urges". I worry that I am adequately preparing them to succeed in life--that they will make poor choices and I will have them living with me until I am an old woman. I'll take worrying about making my own baby food vs. jarred food or breastfeeding or co-sleeping--any of the stupid parenting debates that take place-- any day.

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Hell, no. I planned on living in a cool loft with exposed brick, hanging out with all of my cool artist friends, being a cool artist creating cool art, traveling to cool places and living life.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I once went to a parenting conference, and the speaker was an old hillbilly dude with a long white beard from the backwoods of Tennessee. His radical views on parenting--discipline, training, homeschooling, etc.--made so much sense to me. Our lives and backgrounds couldn't be more different, but there is truth and simplicity in their ways, so I always seem to gravitate back to their parenting advice.

 What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

The gift of peace and quiet is always appreciated. So is an afternoon out with my mom and sister--going to the movies, lunch and getting a pedicure. As long as I don't have to cook for the entire day, I'm happy.


Denise is not the only talented one in the family. Her little brother Jeshua is just as talented. I asked him to tell me a little bit about Denise as a Momma....


"Being Denise's little brother I have seen her go through many changes/phases throughout the years from magenta-haired "artiste", collegiate Feminist to roll your own oats, all natural "nuts an berries" organic goat milk lady. Hah. Through her style may change one thing that is a constant is her beautiful spirit and love and devotion to her family. I see her commitment to her children's education and her inner strength she summons everyday to homeschool my six, yeah SIX nieces and nephews who are ALWAYS soooo well behaved and cooperative. She does this all while balancing multiple blogs and writing jobs, art projects, being the cook, the maid, chauffeur, the wife and the rock of the family. And through all that she STILL manages to be big sister and friend and to pay me for all the nice things I just said"




Denise, I really don't know how you do it but you do and you look fierce while doing it! Thanks for taking some time to answer some questions for me You make large family living look easy and super fun. Happy Mother's Day. I hope all your babies spoil you rotten. 


You can read more about Denise and her tribe over on her blog at Pearmama. 

Mom-spirations- Anna

Anna H. 

When my world was crashing down 2 years ago it was Anna that helped me stay on my feet and be there for my daughter. When Lou was born we had a very very rough 5 days of basically living in the NICU. We were in complete fear and each day brought new fears and new tests. Joey and I are very lucky to have wonderful friends and family that were there for us.  And then there was Anna. I have never met Anna, in real life. At the time she was living across the country. But somehow, for some reason we had found each others blogs and that lead to Facebook friends and she was amazing during the time Louella was in the hospital. She sent me a message that basically said that she had been following our family story for so long that she felt like part of it. She was worried for us and she sent me encouraging messages and in a way was right next to me throughout the entire ordeal. I don't think I ever told her this, but just knowing that Anna was out there, a woman with a life and a family of her own who had never met us, was thinking about us and pulling for Louella made me feel better. She wrote to me...

"I am so sorry that you've had this experience. It's going to be one of those stories that she wants to hear over and over again as a little girl. She's going to want to hear all about how she's a tough, strong little warrior who made it through the storm! "

So much better. It was what I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it. It gave me enough strength to be there for my Louella. And even when I read it now it brings tears to my eyes. Recently Anna and her beautiful girls and husband, packed up and moved to California. Maybe now we can meet one day.

I interviewed Anna and here is what she had to say.....

How many kids do you have?
I have two children. They are sixteen months apart in age. Bunny turned 8 this month and Lila will be 7 in August.

Will you have more?

We tried to have another child, but with no luck. We spent 2011 in fertility treatments, but facing month after month of failed pregnancy attempts was too hard on my family. Eventually we decided to stop

trying and decided to enjoy what we have rather than focusing on what we wish we had.

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?

I probably walk the line of being a helicopter parent, though I should be ashamed because it's perceived as being such a negative thing.  I will admit that I am probably a helicopter parent.  My thought is that I try to be as accessible to my children as possible.  I don't love that my girls are away from me for so many hours of the day and I do tend to do a lot of volunteer work at the school for this reason.  I have one daughter who always wants me to be in her classroom and one daughter who never wants me around.  That said, I never impose on my daughter who asks for more space.  I listen to the wants of my children and respond to them.  

Are you a Nap Nazi?

Nope. My girls are too old for naps now anyway, but I have one child who rarely napped, even as a newborn. I remember taking her to the pediatrician at about two weeks old and questioning all of that information out there that said that babies sleep for 20-some hours out of the day. She told me that babies who don't sleep become children who don't sleep. I am sad to report that this was true for us. People require different amounts of rest.

 Stickler for routine and schedules?

 No. I do like routine and schedules, but I will vary ours to a degree when necessary. The only thing that I insist on is that my children do their homework immediately after coming in from school and that they have a reasonable bed time. If they can't sleep, I'm okay with allowing them to just chill out in bed until they feel tired, but they need to be bathed, brushed and in bed by 8:30 each night.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

Everything about parenting surprised me.  I hadn't spent much time with kids previous to getting pregnant with my first daughter and I doubt that I had ever held a baby until I held my own.  We were the first of our friends to have children and neither of us come from huge families.  Though this probably sounds very generic, I'd say that I am the most surprised by how much I enjoy my children and how much I learn about life from them. They have both stretched my heart more than I ever imagined possible, and they also tested me in ways that have made me realize my breaking points and boundaries and in turn grow as a person.  

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

No, definitely not.  I'm not sure what kind of parent I thought Jay would be, but he surpasses my expectations at every turn.  He's a very hands on and present parent, more so than most dad's I meet.  I can really lean on him and depend on him and always have been able to.  He's creative and loving and definitely steps up to meet me in the middle so that my girls can have as strong a relationship with him as they do with me. 

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?

Bunny's actual name is Kaitlyn.  She was named after my sister who passed away the year before she was born.  No one was ready to call her Kaitlyn yet, so when she was born on Easter Sunday we all began referring to her as my Bunny. Who knew that it would stick!?  To this day, all of her teachers, peers, doctors, dentist, friends and family call her Bunny.  She knows that her name is Kaitlyn, but has never felt connected to it and doesn't use it. Lila's name is from the Sweet Valley High character, Lila Fowler. Also, it's the name of the "coolest girl my husband has ever known." 

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I had THE MOST MISERABLE pregnancy with Bunny imaginable.  I gained 80 lbs and everything ached.  I was sick and gross and swollen and uncomfortable and so emotional!  I ended up breaking my ankle at 8 months pregnant and spent the last month of my pregnancy in a cast, unable to drive myself anywhere!

My pregnancy with Lila was the exact opposite experience.  I felt so beautiful and was active until she was born.  I didn't' get terribly sick and stayed pretty emotionally stable throughout the entire pregnancy (though my husband may disagree).  When it was time to have Lila I cried because I didn't feel ready to give up my pregnancy (and maybe my sleep) yet. 

 

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

Your kids don't care if the cookies you make with them are from scratch.  They only care that you're making them.  And everything is more manageable after a full nights sleep.  

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?

The boppy pillow. I give one to every pregnant women I know. And the Ergo Baby. These are simple things that I leaned on and wouldn't have wanted to live without.

What is your parenting philosophy?

This is a tough question.  I guess if I had to define my parenting I'd say it's most inline with attachment parenting.  I try to listen and value and respect my children.  I always want my girls to feel that they are responsible for themselves and have control over their bodies and lives.  They set their own expectations and as long as their actions reflect the people who they want to be, I am supportive of them.  I don't push them into anything, but I do follow their lead.  As a parent I feel that I am here to guide and support.  I don't feel that it's appropriate for me to choose who my children should be, but to help them and encourage them. This has worked well for our family so far.  

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Oh lord, no. I thought that I'd be a soap opera star living in New York City.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than flowers. They truly make my heart beat pure joy. Traditionally, I always get plants and lovelies to use in my backyard. I'm the sort of person who is almost always outside and the functionality and aesthetics of my yard are extremely important to me. I spend every day outside doing yard work on Mother's Day and can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

 This question has me stumped and I think it's because we are not at all romantic.  Like, my husband calls me "babe" as a joke.  We are affectionate and nice to each other, but not romantic to any degree.  We are silly and ridiculous and laugh a lot, but we don't do romance.  I guess there are small romantic gestures, like my husband will download a book he knows I want and I'll make him those special potatoes he likes... but that's more about consideration and less about romance.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

Jay and I were only dating for three months when I became pregnant with Bunny, so we haven't known life without kids.  I think it might be easier that way because we never had to make that transition into parents. This is just how it's always been.  That said, we used to drink more, that's for sure.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

 I love going on adventures to nowhere.  I like getting in the car and driving without any true destination.  We stop at any place that catches our eye, try new food, meet new people and enjoy our spontaneous adventure!  This is especially fun in our brand new state. 

What was your favorite book from childhood?

I loved The Velveteen Rabbit when I was very small.  And in Elementary school I really ate up those Christopher Pike books.  Of course, I also read the Sweet Valley Twin and Sweet Valley High book and by the time I was in 5th Grade I had devoured every VC Andrew book that I could get my hands on.   

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

 We try not to yell (though we're not always successful).  Our kids are pretty reasonable and we're usually able to talk to them about what has happened.  If they are honest with us, they often do not have consequences for their actions.  We hope to teach them at an early age that they can be honest with us and that they can use us to clear their conscience and give them good advice.  If we do have to dole out punishments, we can usually withhold things like playdates and tv.  That's pretty effective.  I think that kids need to know what to expect from their parents in terms of discipline and consistency is the key to success.
   

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

 I am arrogant enough to say that I think picky eaters are made (and I can imagine all of the parents of children who only eat nuggets and pizza rolling their eyes at me).  Of course, I have been blessed with two children who will try anything and like most things... so what do I know?  We have never allowed our children to have "special food."  They eat what we are having and have done so since they were under a year old.  I always have meals with an assortment of food on their plates, so if they don't like one thing, they can eat the other. If they don't like the other, they can be hungry. No exceptions.   

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Lila loves chicken pot pie and Bunny like citrus stuffed chicken.  I once made the girls Chinese food and though it was terrible, it remains legendary in their imaginations.  

Who  is your Mom-spiration?

I hope that this doesn't sound like a copout, but I am sincerely inspired by every mom that I know.  I am inspired by women who are mindful and feel good about their parenting choices, even and (maybe especially) when they differ from my own.  I like women who are true to themselves and comfortable in their skin.    

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

 I definitely go to my mom first. If she doesn't pick up I call my friend Julia and listen to what she has to say. Then I ask my friend Laura. Both of these women parent similarly to me and I can trust them not to judge myself or my children when I'm honest about situations and reactions that I don't' feel good about or proud of. By the end of these conversation I usually have it figured out.

You recently moved to a new state. How did you prepare your kids for the move? 

My poor, poor children.  We were living in the city of Philadelphia for years before deciding to move out to the burbs.  Last summer we packed up our urban family and moved to rural NJ.  The girls were okay with the change and transitioned pretty smoothly into their new school and neighborhood.  None of us knew that just four months later we'd be packing up to move AGAIN.  With only one months notice we moved from New Jersey to California.  My girls were devastated.  There was little notice and because it was a corporate transfer, we had to live in temporary housing for a month while we shopped for a house to live in.  Everyone was upset, but we explained to them that just as we had moved out of the city because it would lead to a better life, we were moving to California in order to give them a better life.  We moved the week between Christmas and New Years, which was very difficult on us all. Truth be told, my girls have settled in beautifully and California is responsible for their great transition.  I mean, it is more wonderful here than we had expected and our lives are about 1 million times better in every respect.  Myself, my husband and our girls left the east coast and never looked back. 

Anna you helped me get through the worst 5 days of my life. I am very grateful for that.  Happy Early Mother's Day and I can't wait to read all about your first summer here in Sunny California.And for the record I really thought Bunny's name was Bunny all these years! 

You can find Anna and follow her California Adventures over at her blog The Rocky Holler Picture Show!