Mom-spirations- Mercy

Mercy G. - My Mom

For my last Mom-spiration interview I am so excited to share my Mom, Mercy. My Mother is one amazing woman. She is the definition of motherhood wrapped in a beautiful package. My Mom is kind, sweet, generous, loving and fun to be around. She is funny and loud. To know her is to love her. Before we start let me answer some questions that I know you will have....

• No my Mom was not 10 years old when she had me. 
• Yes we do get mistaken for sister. 
• Yes I know my Mom is gorgeous.  

I love this interview. I hope you do too.

What is the most surprising this about parenthood?
The most surprising thing about parenthood is how natural it comes to you when you first become a mother. You go through so much doubt and turmoil during your pregnancy, but once the baby's born, it all comes so naturally.


Where the teenage years as hard as I imagine they will be?
Yes the teenage years are one of the toughest things for a parent to go through. The child is trying to cut the apron strings while the Mother is trying to keep her child safe and within her arms reach.


Is your partner the type of parent you imagined they would be?
You really don't know what kind of parent your partner will be until he becomes a parent. I thought Dad would be super strict when it came to boyfriends, but he was pretty laid back.


Where did your kids nicknames come from?
Dad loved to watch cartoons. He still does. All your nicknames come from him. They are all cartoon characters. (Magilla Gorilla, Baba Louie, Tweeters)


Did you enjoy pregnancy?
I enjoyed my pregnancies, especially my first one (YES! I win!) To me it was a time where I could eat whatever I wanted. Of course now things are different. Everyone is more health conscious.


What is the best parenting advice you have ever received?
The best parenting advice I ever received is that your can't spoil your kids by loving them too much, and don't yell at your kids.


What is your parenting philosophy?
My parenting philosophy is, teach your kids right from wrong and then let them learn through their own life's experiences.




When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
When I was 16, I imagined going to college and meeting the man of my dreams and having a beautiful family and living happily ever after. I was able to accomplish everything except a college education.


What is the ideal Mother's Day gift?
Flowers and a card is a great Mother's Day gift, but all I really want is for my kids to call me to wish me a happy Mother's day.


How did all your kids leaving the house change your marriage/relationship?
Once the kids were on their own, Dad and I rediscovered each other. We were like newlyweds all over again. We didn't have to worry about making too much noise (TMI?). Also your relationship with your children becomes stronger when they are on their own.


What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Of course my favorite thing to do with my kids is vacation at Bass Lake, such good memories! I also love when everyone is at our house and we're all just sitting around the table eating and talking. (The simple things).


What was your favorite book from your childhood?
I don't recall having a favorite childhood book. We didn't get bedtime stories at night. There were too many of us (9!). The only books we had at home when I was a child were my Mom's "True Story" magazines and my Dad's Spanish cowboy paperbacks. I discovered my love for reading later in life. My favorite book is "Rain of Gold".


How did you deal with discipline in your house?
Discipline- it only took one spanking. I didn't spank as a form of discipline. The one time I did, it came as a shock to you and to me and you didn't misbehave after that. Of course, I cried more than you after I spanked you. You got a "talking to" if you needed discipline.


What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
Back in the day, my favorite meal to make was cheeseburger Hamburger Helper. (easy & quick) Now it's enchiladas with rich and homemade beans, but I know that you also love my chicken spaghetti.

Where do you go to first when you need parenting advice?
I am very close to my sisters. They are my best friends. They are who I go to for advice, but when it comes to my kids, it's your Dad who I go to first. I trust his judgment 100%.


Were you more relaxed with your second/third child?
You definitely get more relaxed with your third child. Apparently Elaine had no curfew.

How is being a Nana different than being a parent? How is it the same?
Being a Nana is the best job in the world. The job of parenting a child in no longer in your hands. You just get to enjoy and love and spoil your Grandkids. It's the BEST job in the world. It doesn't matter  if you're the parent or the Nana. We both have the same objective, to keep the child safe and loved so they grow up to be a good person.


Who is your Mom-spiration? 
When I was little I always wondered how the mom on "Leave it to Beaver" or the Mom on "Brady Bunch", or the Mom on "The Partridge Family" (you get my drift), was always nicely dressed-up, in heels and make-up and the house looking immaculant. How did they do it? I now realize that my Mom was the best example of what a truly remarkable Mother should be. She loved us unconditionally and did everything in her power, with what she had, to see that we had a safe and loving childhood. She still does that. Sometimes you don't realize what a great Mother you had until you're on your own with your own family.

I asked my sister Cari to give me a few words about Mom,
"My Mom is the best Mom out there in every way. She has always been patient, loving, generous, and a great teacher. What I admire about her is her consistency of the person she is. You can always count on her to be herself. I think me and my sister are the Moms we are because of our mother. I remember her reading stories to us, taking us to the library, and going on family trips to the beach or Solvang. I know if I can be half of what my Mom was to me for my kids, then they will turn out great people. Our Mom is the rock of our family that keeps us as close as we are. I love you Mom and appreciate everything you do for us!"

I asked our youngest sister Elaine (the one who didn't have a curfew) to share her thoughts on Mom:
"My Mom is always there. Her cooking is simple, but nothing makes me happier than when I can replicate a meal. She is hilarious, always has a good comeback when my Pops is trying to be funny." 


My Mom's oldest grand-daughter Maria said...
"My Nana is the most generous person I know. The only time I have ever seen her mad is when she yells at Flip to stay away from the coyotes. She tries to give everyone everything they want. Her family sees her as a goddess and treats her like one too. She very much deserves it." 



Happy Mother's Day Mom. There is not a day that goes by where I don't catch myself saying something, or doing something just like you do. I know that everything I have learned about being a Mom to The Phi and Lou has come from growing up with you as my Mom. They way I can love them and have fun with them and even disciple them comes straight from you. And when I look at my girls I get it now. Every fight we had, every time I thought you were being mean and unfair, I totally get it now. You love me just like I love The Phi and Lou and that is so overwhelming. Knowing that you love me and Cari and Elaine that much is mind-blowing. Not only did you raise us with all the love and support in the world, you also taught us how to be good Mom's and now your grand-kids are reaping the benefits. You know you are the world's best Nana, they way The Phi completely adores you, follows you, and always wants to be with you should show you that. I am so happy to be able to spend this Mother's Day with you and with our family.

 I love you Mom, so very much.

Mom-spiration- Crissy

Crissy C.

I met Crissy on one of the most scariest days of my life. The first day of high school. I was brand new to the area and she was starting public school for the first time. We both had PE first period and I sat next to her on the gym benches. She has been my partner in crime ever since. We have been through it all together. The good times (and man were there some good times) and the bad. Back in high school, out of the girls in our little group, Crissy was the one who we all knew would be a Mom. She was just made for the role. She has always been motherly. Even in college when we lived together Crissy was usually the one who made us dinner. Her lemon chicken is amazing. She was just meant to be a Momma. She is now the Mom to a beautiful boy named Eli. She claims she didn't name him after me, but I know she did.

And today is her BIRTHDAY!!! 

Here is my interview with Crissy, or as I call her Sam....

 Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules

 I am surprisingly not big on routine with Eli. I always imagined myself to be super structured as a mother, but honestly I just prefer to roll with the day as it comes because I feel like trying to remain on a rigid routine just stresses me out and ultimately leaves him stressed too. I try hard to give some semblance of a nighttime routine when we are home, but I totally believe in being flexible too so we aren’t chained to the house each night after long days at work. We like to get out at night at least a few times a week and grab dinner or stroll though a store. If that means abandoning a perfect routine then I can accept that. In fact being mobile is sometimes good for Eli because he can be very wound up at night, making routines like pulling teeth.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

 I guess I am most surprised at how the experience of being a parent can be so amazing and fulfilling, while at the same time so incredibly exhausting and draining…It takes all I have each day to be a working mother just trying to keep all the balls in the air, and still trying to be a “good enough” mom and wife. I suppose I just never thought about how hard that would be until I was living it. It’s worth every minute though to be Eli’s mama.  

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

 Since I was a step-mom to two great girls before introducing Eli into the world, I did have the unique opportunity to see Phill as a father before becoming parents together. I must say however that being a father to a son has shown me different sides of my husband…some a bit surprising. Let’s just say I never imagined what it would be like to be raising a boy and a man-child!! Thank God the dogs are girls or I would be severely outnumbered on a daily basis….

Where did your kids names come from?

 We took forever to decide on a name that we both could agree on, and that the girls weren’t opposed to. That was not easy trying to please everyone. The day that we went as a family to pick up Eli’s crib from the store was the day that I tossed out the name “Eli” to Phill and the girls. It was the first time no one had anything negative or sarcastic to say about one of my name choices. The girls had been great for pointing out all of the possible nicknames that may come of a particular name choice. The criteria for me were that the name have positive meaning, and not be a candidate for a shortened version that ends in “y.” (No offense to the many great guys I know with names ending in “y”) (haha pointing and laughing at you Joey!!)Anyway, when Eli seemed to be an easy crowd pleaser to Phill and the girls I knew that we had a winner. The name means “Faithful one” which has obvious value. We went into the crib store and I solidified the choice by buying the letters E-L-I to hang on the nursery wall. That was it and no one was going to change my mind.  (She left out the part where Eli is a boy verison of Elissa. Just saying) 

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

 My pregnancy was great in the sense that baby and I remained healthy throughout with no morning sickness. However, it got rough for me at about the sixth month because I developed an issue that required weekly chiropractic appointments to keep me able to walk without pain. That sucked!! I loved the being pregnant part though. I felt so blessed…. as big as a house, but still very blessed.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

 “Just listen to yourself because you know your own child the best.”

What is your parenting philosophy?

 To forgive myself for whatever I must be doing wrong, and enjoy as many of the simple pleasures of being his mother that I possibly can… I believe that you can’t love a kid too much so I indulge him often, hug him a lot, talk to him about anything he wants to talk about, make time for him when he wants my attention, and try to somehow instill tiny values in everything we do along the way…balanced with an occasional meltdown by mommy and/or Eli. I do the best I can to be his rock and his friend, and I hope it always stays that way.  

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

In so many ways this is exactly what I thought my life would be when I was 16, and in some ways it’s really different. I remember always wanting a family and a stable home life. I knew I wanted to be a mother and a wife, and I knew I would treasure those experiences. I also knew that I dreamt of being successful in a career too. Why didn’t anyone tell me that the balance of being a wife, mother, and professional was nearly impossible to achieve? This is hard work ladies!!! Somehow I think that I had a fairy tale version of my current reality in mind when I was 16.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

My first mother’s day, May 10^th 2009, was also by birthday. That was pretty cool and hard to top!! This year I feel like the perfect gift would be the opportunity to get ready for the day in private with no 3 year old eyes on me…followed by lot’s of hugs from Eli…and a relaxing day where I can truly enjoy being a mom.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

This is such a loaded question… and I’m sure Phill and I would have much different responses I find this romance thing very challenging these days. It has nothing to do with how much we love one another, but just the simple fact that we have so few opportunities to be alone. Even those times when we carve out some time as a couple, we still find ourselves in “parent mode.” I know that I try to pay attention to needing couple’s time, but as a working mom I also feel so guilty when I have to leave Eli behind even if that means being alone with Phill. It’s also so hard to feel romantic when you barely have time to remember who you are as an individual, much less as a wife. I know we are still doing our best to make time for our relationship, and to get to a place where we can also focus on us as a couple.     

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

It totally did change things because before Eli we had so much time to be with one another. We took for granted all those lazy Sunday afternoons, times when we could cuddle on the couch and days when we would sleep in and never get dressed at all. We laugh about those days sometimes... Now we wake up whenever Eli wakes us (day or night), we have to alternate whose turn it is to shower and get ready, and poor Phill has to contend with the fact that Eli breaks us apart each time he sees us get too close because he wants his mama all to himself. Yes, things have changed quite a bit around here. It’s all wonderful though in its’ own way. I can’t imagine changing a thing because Eli keeps things interesting and reminds us why our relationship together means so much.    

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

Eli loves a good movie… I really enjoy those times when he is calm and we can all sit and curl up with a movie and popcorn on the couch. He picks some good flicks too. We are bringing back the classics around here…”Free Willy,” “Karate Kid,” “Andre,” and “Wizard of Oz” to name a few. I mostly love the quite times just before I tuck him into bed when he tells me a long-winded story, hugs me goodnight, wipes off my kiss, and then tells me how much he loves me and how lucky he is. He thanks me almost every night for “building him such a pretty cool room.” Those little conversations that only mommy and Eli share mean so much to me and show me what an amazing little person he really is.

What was your favorite book from childhood?

Never was much of a reader…as my true friends will know. But the book, “Corduroy” comes to mind. The bear comes to life in the department store at night and has all these adventures. I always did, and sometimes still do, dream of getting locked in a department store (preferably Macy’s) at night. How great would that be?

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

I believe in delivering discipline with the balance of talking it out. Spanking just isn’t my first choice… and letting him know why he got in trouble and how to make a better choice is my primary goal. I always try to talk to him about the behavior that got him in trouble to begin with, and I let him know the consequences for the action before he makes a choice. I really do try to follow through with what I say. It is just as important to follow through on negative consequences, as it is to keep a promise… I want him to know I am serious and honest with him no matter if things are negative or positive.

 

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

Eli is a very simple eater. He rarely wants to take a risk and try something new. The selection of Eli-approved meals is slim and he takes forever to complete a meal because he is so distracted by life. I do grow impatient with how long feeding him can take. I just try to work with him to get in as many nutritious foods as I can, even if that means unconventional meals and chaotic mealtimes. 

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Eli loves mama’s Chocolate Chip cookies and I love to make them for him!! He proudly bites into the cookie and says, “My mama made this cookie for me and its good.”

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I usually consult my trusted Social Worker peers because they are the ladies that I encounter most often each day. When it’s serious though I call you Willis!!! (That's me. I'm Willis. Long story)

Who is your Mom-spiration?

There are qualities that I value in so many moms that I have been fortunate to have in my life over the years. I respect them all for their unique strengths and try to draw upon those examples when needed. I know that those are the ladies who made me who I am, and have shown me how to trust myself in being Eli’s mom today.

Since my Mom has known Crissy since she was 14 and was there to watch her grow up. I asked her to share some thoughts on Crissy as a Mom...
"Crissy is one of the most dedicated Mothers that I know. She is like a mother bear taking care of her baby cub. She is a good mother. Eli will grow up well cared for and well loved. I'm proud of you Crissy."

Sam, I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through my life without you. You have been there for me through the hard times and you were by my side during some of the best times. We have gone through our high school years, our wild college days, marriages, careers, and now babies. You are my family, my sistah! You are juggling one of the most stressful jobs and still manage to shower baby Eli with love and attention. I admire how you always follow your gut. You trust your judgement when it come to what it best for Eli. He is growing up with a Momma who showers him with love, teaches him right from wrong and will always be there for him. He is lucky to have you. Just like I am lucky to have you.

Happy Birthday Sam. 

and Happy Mothers Day

Mon-spirations- Denise C.

Denise C.

Let me start off by saying that Denise has 6 kids. Let me let that sink in........

Denise is a friend that I met through blogging. I loved reading about her life and her family and was really excited to learn she lived near us. (Stalker much?) Over the last few years we have been able to meet up at a few events here and there. There are so many things about Denise that I really admire. She is an amazing artist. I have one of her pieces on my hallway and its amazing. She also home-schools her kids. Yup all six of them. She also has an amazing marriage. Michael and Denise are so loving and sweet to each other. It is always so clear how much they adore each other. She is also manages to keep up a few blogs. She can do it all. I had to try to figure out how, so I asked her some questions....

How many kids do you have ? Will you have more?

We have six children, ages 6, 8, 10, 11, 13 and 14. We are done. That's it. The factory is now closed. The party is over. It is finished. 

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

When I was dating my husband Michael, he was already a young father to a 2 year old boy. I saw, firsthand, what kind of father he was. He made him a huge part of his life--he bathed him, made sure he ate healthy food, played with him, and stayed involved in his life, even though he was no longer dating his mother. That is what made me fall in love with him. I knew he would play an active role in our future children's lives. Coming from a divorced family, this was incredibly important to me.

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I loved it. I must have, because I was pregnant for practically eight years. I loved being fertile and beautiful.

You have teens. How different is it from raising kids?

You think changing diapers at 3 a.m or chasing after a toddler all day is tough? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I am floored by how challenging it is to raise teenagers. They are a mess of hormones, they smell, they think they know everything, all the stuff they want is super expensive and they have pubic hair and "urges". I worry that I am adequately preparing them to succeed in life--that they will make poor choices and I will have them living with me until I am an old woman. I'll take worrying about making my own baby food vs. jarred food or breastfeeding or co-sleeping--any of the stupid parenting debates that take place-- any day.

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Hell, no. I planned on living in a cool loft with exposed brick, hanging out with all of my cool artist friends, being a cool artist creating cool art, traveling to cool places and living life.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

I once went to a parenting conference, and the speaker was an old hillbilly dude with a long white beard from the backwoods of Tennessee. His radical views on parenting--discipline, training, homeschooling, etc.--made so much sense to me. Our lives and backgrounds couldn't be more different, but there is truth and simplicity in their ways, so I always seem to gravitate back to their parenting advice.

 What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

The gift of peace and quiet is always appreciated. So is an afternoon out with my mom and sister--going to the movies, lunch and getting a pedicure. As long as I don't have to cook for the entire day, I'm happy.


Denise is not the only talented one in the family. Her little brother Jeshua is just as talented. I asked him to tell me a little bit about Denise as a Momma....


"Being Denise's little brother I have seen her go through many changes/phases throughout the years from magenta-haired "artiste", collegiate Feminist to roll your own oats, all natural "nuts an berries" organic goat milk lady. Hah. Through her style may change one thing that is a constant is her beautiful spirit and love and devotion to her family. I see her commitment to her children's education and her inner strength she summons everyday to homeschool my six, yeah SIX nieces and nephews who are ALWAYS soooo well behaved and cooperative. She does this all while balancing multiple blogs and writing jobs, art projects, being the cook, the maid, chauffeur, the wife and the rock of the family. And through all that she STILL manages to be big sister and friend and to pay me for all the nice things I just said"




Denise, I really don't know how you do it but you do and you look fierce while doing it! Thanks for taking some time to answer some questions for me You make large family living look easy and super fun. Happy Mother's Day. I hope all your babies spoil you rotten. 


You can read more about Denise and her tribe over on her blog at Pearmama. 

Mom-spiratons- Lyndsey

Lyndsey S.

I met Lyndsey when she occupied the teller station next to me. We met at work and out of all those years I was in banking, meeting Lyndsey (and Tino!) were the best part. When you see Lyndsey she looks like a quite, mild-mannered girl. DO NOT let that fool you. She is funny and quick and could make even 8 hours at the bank a whole lot of fun. I looked forward to work because Lyndsey was the best to goof around with. She named her car Cookie and I was so sad when she moved away from Santa Barbara. Lyndsey is a Mom to a gorgeous girl and for many years Lyndsey did it on her own. That kind of work and strength is so amazing to me. It takes someone extraordinary to not only be a single Mom, but to raise a smart, kind and loving daughter.

I asked Lyndsey a few questions.......

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?
I am not a fan of helicopter parenting for a number of reasons.  Mostly because I work in the courts and those are the parents calling to make excuses for their kids, pay their fines for them and call again when they miss court.  It never seems to end.  I also don’t like those kinds of parents on the playground.  I sometimes want to yell—“Just let your kids be!!”
 
Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules?
When she was of the nap taking age, I did try to stick to her schedule because it was never fun dealing with a child that has not had their naps.  Kids without naps can start a revolution.  (Word up!)
 
Most surprising thing about parenthood?
Isabella and I are so much alike.  Some people say she is me with curly hair and a great tan but it’s more than just looks.  I feel like I am looking into a mirror most days with her mannerisms.  Her tendency to get emotional.  Her sense of humor.  Her attitude.  How do I get one up on ME?  
 
Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?
Isabella Grace was a name that I gave her after Carmella & Isadore (her great-great-great Grandparents) and Grace was her Great-Grandmother’s name.  She goes by Isy (her spelling) and I call her Tookie sometimes.  I am not sure where I picked up Tookie but it stuck.  
 
Did you enjoy pregnancy?
I did for the most part.  I remember the first time I felt her really move in my belly and I cried.  She was such a peaceful baby that when she wouldn’t move for a day or two I would drink orange juice to get her kicking.  I did not have any complications aside from the weight gain which was my fault.  I never felt so important and loved during my pregnancy and I hadn’t even met her yet! The last month was pretty hard because I was driving to work in a car with no air conditioning in the dry hot heat of summer of Riverside, CA.
 
What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?
When I told my dad I was pregnant, he told me, “Now begins the day when you will never stop worrying.”  How true that is.
 
What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?
When Isabella was a baby I LOVED the baby back pack that had a kick stand so I could maneuver it without help.  I took her everywhere in that thing.  In Idaho you have to be able to pack a baby in and pack a baby out.
 

What is your parenting philosophy? 
Without taking up too much room on this one, I will just say that I want to raise a daughter with strong enough neck muscles to always hold her head high.  While there is much more to it, this is something that is important to me that I pass on to her.
 
When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?
No, when I was 16 years old, I was going to move to the big city and never see these wheat fields again.
 
What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?
My ideal mother’s day gift is doing projects around the house.  I want to see some weeds getting pulled, some paint being applied….I want them to work!  Mostly, I just want to spend it with my family.
 
What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Isabella has always been a pretty fierce shopper.  Even at 3 years old she would notice fabrics, textures, colors, etc.  We love to cook.  She is really big into Cupcake Wars on Food Network and we try to come up with the best ones.  
 
What was your favorite book from childhood?
Sweet Valley High of course!
 
How do you deal with discipline in your house?
I can count on one hand how many times I spanked Isabella.  The first time I did it I had to go into the bathroom so I could cry (see, I told you I was emo).  I believe in spanking for some kids if that is what works for them but it never did with Isabella and I never liked giving her one.  What worked with her is getting down to her level (literally) and talking to her.  Discipline these days includes taking away the ipod and laptop which works great.  
 
Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?
No. From a very young age she was always eating things other kids wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.  I would like to think that making her own baby food and not what I call “dumbing down” her food from the beginning helped.  Kids don’t need to cover veggies with tons of butter, salt or other things to mask them.  She is a great date because she likes to try new foods.
 
What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?
Isabella loves sushi.  We have a lot of fun making that—even if it doesn’t look so pretty.  
 

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?
I usually call my best friend Kelly first.  I can tell her the whole story and nothing but the truth and not be ashamed of it because let’s be honest…being a mom is hard sometimes.  Being a mom has taught me that my mom is just like me—human. Kelly gives me sound advice and then we find a way to laugh about it.


Who is your Mom-spiration?
I have a lot of great moms in my life that I draw inspiration from so it’s hard to narrow it down to one.  My mom worked so hard for my brother and I when we were babies.  She always tried her best to be there for us even when holding multiple jobs.  I have friends that are moms to kids with special medical needs.  I have friends that are step moms.  Moms with multiple kids and jobs.  Moms that would give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  Moms with crazy cool blogs. My mom-spirations are all around me.
 


I asked Lyndsey's brother to share a few words with me about Lyndsey the Mom. 
(Be warned his response will make you cry!)...
"From the moment Lyndsey told me she was pregnant, I knew she would be a great mother. At that moment she was crying. I knew her tears were not from fear of being able to be a good mom, but fear of how her older brother would accept her pregnancy. Through her tear filled eyes I saw the courage of a young woman that always wanted to be a mother and knew she could do it. Over the years I have watched Lyndsey make every decision regarding her and her daughter in a very calculated and measured manner. Sure, she faced and still does face challenges. However, I envy her ability to face them head on with diligence. I admire my sister as a mother mostly because of the amount of care and love she puts in to being a mom. She has extraordinary balance in the way she is a mom. She demands the right stuff but shows how to do it by her actions rather than words. I love my sister and always have but I admire her wisdom as a mother as well. I know that Isabella will turn out to be a caring, loving, dedicated, and strong woman someday because of her beautiful mother, Lyndsey."


I also asked Jeremie, Lyndsey's BF to share a few sentences with me about Lyndsey the Mom. He had some wonderful things to say...
"Lyndsey is an outstanding mother. She puts her daughter Isabella above anything and everything else in her life. All of her decisions, both major and minor have the best interests of her little girl in mind. Of course Lyndsey does all of the important things you would expect of a Mom: she *provides* for her daughter, at times amidst great hardship in her own life. Lyndsey will *sacrifice* for her daughter whenever necessary, and without complaint. She's loving and affectionate, she encourages and supports, she teaches and learns, she corrects and disciplines. Lyndsey *makes* time for her daughter when there is none. The result is a good-natured, astute little girl that everyone seems to enjoy. They're relationship is both mother/daughter and BFF at the same time, and they seem to negotiate this line deftly. One of the things that amazes me most about their relationship is how often, and how hard they can make each other* laugh*. I frequently step into a room to find them both in hysterics, teary-eyed, about to pee in their pants! I'm left wondering what I've missed, and no matter how many times they try to explain it to me, I fail to see their humor. In my opinion, this scene is the sum of their relationship."


I also asked Lyndsey's Mom to share her thoughts...
"My girl, Lyndsey, is a spectacular Mommy... As to provide a better life for her little girl, Lyndsey went back to school, graduating with dual majors. When Lyndsey comes home after a long day at work, Isabella's face glows with happiness at the sound of her voice.. In spite of Lyndsey's long work hours, she strives to create special Mommy-daughter time. Be it the Moscow Food Co-op, mani-pedis, shopping, Jamm's, or, simply snuggling on the sofa, watching a movie. Isabella is secure, knowing her Mommy will always be there for her. Lyndsey encourages Izzy's creative nature, supporting her love of band, choir, and art. Lyndsey gently nurtures Isabella with understanding and patience. At the same time, she is strict, as her obedient little girl, has begun to blossom into a "tween". and she wants to keep her obedient. I know Lyndsey will embrace the trying teen years with fairness and love, because that is the kind of person Lyndsey is. The primary focus of Lyndsey's life is her daughter. When thinking of their bond, my heart swells with overflowing emotion. I am very, very proud of Lyndsey, she is an adult, and a mom, but, she will always be my little girl. Happy Mother's Day, sweetie!"

Lyndsey I have to tell you. The toughest part of these interviews has been getting quotes from family and friends. Except for yours. I got some amazing and very quick responses. I think this says a lot about you girl. You are very loved and appreciated.  You are a rock star and I love you and that beautiful daughter of yours very much. Have a great Mother's Day!
 

Mom-spirations- Jackie

Jackie W. 

Remember that little red-headed girl Charlie Brown was crazy about? That is Jackie. Mainly because she has this amazing curly red hair. Jackie, or J-Dub as I like to call her, and I go way back. Like lunches in the quad at MHS. Then we had this crazy night club hopping in Las Vegas once in our 20's. Now a days, she is still cool as anything and she is a Mom to 2 gorgeous kids. If they ever make a live action Strawberry Shortcake movie, Jackie's daughter would have to play her. That is how cute (and red-headed) she is. These days Jackie and I swap hair braiding tutorials, but she still throws in a good "your mom" for old times sake. Jackie is open and honest, fun, slightly obsessed with a certain book series and a really great Mom. I asked J-Dub a few questions...

How many kids do you have ?

I have two fabulous and very different children. Liam is 5 and Taylor is a few weeks shy of 4.

Will you have more?  

Unfortunately no. When we found out Taylor was a girl we were so excited and we decided that since we were blessed with one of each this would be where we ended it. My husband is 13 years older and he didn’t want to be retiring and have young kids in the house still. Once I had Taylor and was elbow deep in diapers, bottles, vomit, etc I was convicted that 2 was enough. When Taylor was 8 months old my husband had a vasectomy. Looking back it was the worst decision we made. My uterus aches to have another baby.

  

What are your feelings on helicopter parents? 

I think, after looking up the definition, I have slight “helicopter” tendencies. I’m starting to let the kids work their issues out themselves but I always want to be their problem solver and be all up in their business. I’m working on it.

 Are you a Nap Nazi? Stickler for routine and schedules? 

I am definitely a nap Nazi and a stickler for routines and schedules. It’s how I was able to function with two kids close in age. Liam was a great baby and easy to get on a schedule early. Taylor wasn’t on a nap schedule until she was around 8 months old. But, yes, the clock dictated when or where we went with our kids. I envy mom’s who just go with the flow with their kids and not live by a nap schedule. I think I’m wound a little too tight for that much leeway. 

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

The most surprising thing about parenthood is how you can see yourself in your kids. Liam is so much like me personality wise and Taylor is so much like my husband. I love how this job leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. Weird, I know…but if you think about it you cannot ever get this day back with your kids. Tomorrow they’re one day older than yesterday…you have to grab the time with them now!

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be? 

 Yes. I mean…I didn’t really have any preconceived ideas regarding his capabilities as a father but I do think the older the kids get the better he is. He even admits he wasn’t fond of the baby stage but now they’re older he’s really enjoying teaching them life skills.

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?

 Liam is Irish for William. When I was younger I had picked out my “if I ever had a son” name and it was William Scott. William was always such a strong name for me and Scott because I wanted to name my first born son after my older brother. Well, God has a sense of humor because I married a William Scott. When we found out we were having a boy we tossed around the idea of a “jr” but we decided we didn’t want a jr. I said, “well, we could call him Will” and my mother in law said she was going to call him “Willy.” After stating I didn’t particularly like that nickname she said she didn't care and she was going to call him what she wanted. Soooooo, I looked further into the name and discovered that “Liam” means William in Gaelic. I love the name Liam and that’s when we decided on Liam Scott Wall. Taylor’s name is a bit different. My “if I ever had a girl” name was Emma. I loved, loved, loved the name Emma. Then Jennifer Aniston had to go and have a little girl on Friends and name her Emma and soon that name rocketed to #1 on popular baby girl name lists. When we had her we didn’t know what to name her. Savannah? No. Riley? No. Emma? No. Gracie? No. Georgia? No. Fine. You name her. So, my husband named her Taylor and I got Emma in there as the middle name. Looking back I wish I had stuck my middle name in there for her also and made her name Taylor Emma Louise Wall…we still might do it. Her nickname is Tay-bug and she got it because of her love of bugs and all things bug-ish.

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

 I loved both pregnancies. I love giving birth also. Loved it. Loved the pain of childbirth and the reward when it was all done. 

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

 Probably to listen to my heart and raise my kids the way I think is best regardless of what anybody else does/says.

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?

For my son it was that Jolly Jumper that went in the doorway. He loved that thing! The best baby gear for Taylor was her older brother. She was fine as long as she could be doing whatever he was doing.

What is your parenting philosophy?

 My parenting philosophy?? I don’t know that I have one. I’m one of habits, schedules, rules, and structure. My day goes best when I’m on schedule with my kids. 

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Yes…it just took a bit longer. I always wanted to be a mom, not a career woman. I wanted to be married at 19 and have kids shortly after. I’m there now…it just took a few years longer. I was 27 when I got married, 28 when I had Liam and 30 when I had Taylor.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

 This is a loaded question. On a day when I haven’t had my fill of my kids and my husband my perfect mothers day would be spending it with them doing something outside. When I’ve had my fill of my responsibilities then the perfect mother’s day would begin the night before in a hotel room by myself and end the next night in my own bed. I’d love a full 24 hours of not having to wipe someone, get something for someone,  make lunch, do dishes, laundry, etc. Of course it would all be waiting for me when I got home…but you get the idea.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids? 

We flirt. Makes me giggle just thinking about it. 

How did having kids change your marriage/relationship? 

It’s a constant process but I’m learning to not take our time together for granted because you never know when you’ll have time again. It’s made us a stronger unit and I feel like I really have a partner.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids? 

With Taylor I love painting, coloring, cutting out things and creating art. With Liam I love to do workbooks with him and to listen to him read to me. Together we love to dance!

What was your favorite book from childhood?

One of them was The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton. I also loved the Ramona series and the Babysitter’s Club when I was older.

 How do you deal with discipline in your house?

 I pour myself a glass of wine. I have two very different kids. Liam is a pleaser. He doesn’t step outside the bounds much and requires very little discipline although he is the type that is passive aggressive…his misbehavior is usually very subtle. Taylor is a typical kid.  She’s a button pusher so she requires a little more “intervention.” My husband is a spanker and I’m  a yeller…together it’s a great combination.

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that? 

Liam is the WORST eater on the planet. He ate jarred baby food until he was 15 months old. I blame a very sensitive gag reflex on his inability to eat regular food. Any time I tried to give him something solid he would gag and choke. His diet until he was 4 was mainly yogurt, toast, all types of fruit, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He didn’t eat pasta, rice, any type of animal protein, eggs, pizza, French fries, macaroni and cheese, etc. I went round and round with his pediatrician about this. His philosophy was if Liam were in Afghanistan and this was all he had to eat, he’d eat it. Just give him one meal a day until he eats it. Make him dinner for breakfast and that’s all he can have until he eats it. I think when Liam was about 18 months old I tried this. This kid of mine didn’t eat anything for 48 hours. It killed me. KILLED ME! That’s when I realized there was absolutely nothing wrong with what he was eating at the time. It was healthy and I just needed to go with my gut instinct. So what if he didn’t eat what I made for dinner? So what? Is he eating McDonalds? No. Is he eating chicken nuggets? No. I caved and finally fed him and he at two pb&j sandwiches, 10 strawberries, and had like 3 graham crackers. When he was just about 4 we told him when he turned 4 he would have to try chicken. He did. He finally got better with not gagging on his food and now he’s 5 and he’ll eat just about anything I put in front of him. He may not like it but he’ll try it. Taylor started eating table food at 8 months and never ate a jar of baby food. Period. Her favorite meal is spaghetti or steak with A-1 sauce. Could my kids be any different?? I just feel bad that I wasted all those years trying to force my kid to eat something he didn’t want to eat and punishing him for it. He doesn’t seem scarred but I am.
What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

 Anything they will eat. Spaghetti and garlic bread for Taylor and green beans and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for Liam.

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice? 

My mom. 

Are you more relaxed with your second child? 
Very relaxed. It’s just a stage, right? That’s what I tell myself when I hit a tough patch with my kids. 

Who  is your Mom-spiration? 

My mom. She raised 3 kids and was a stay at home mom for years. If she can do it so can I.


I asked Jackie's Mom, (that's right J-Dub, YOUR MOM) to share her thoughts on her daughter in her role of motherhood...

"My daughter, Jackie, is a wonderful and amazing person. She has always been this way to me so, it was no surprise to see Jackie embrace the role of a Mom so naturally. Blessed with a son and a daughter, Jackie is a confident and nurturing Mommy. One only has to experience a short amount of time with her children to see what happy little creatures they are. Like any Mom, Jackie has faced challenges in child rearing and will continue to do so. If we know anything as Moms we know there are challenges. This doesn't seem to intimate Jackie. She has a loving family, great friends and her Faith. All from which she can gather strength. She doesn't complicate life. Jackie is a Mom who is loving, giving, strict and she is FUN. If you were to stop by her home at any given time you might find her reading a book to Liam and Taylor Emma, building Legos, or playing in the backyard with them, maybe watching a video or maybe sitting for a quiet moment while Taylor naps and Liam is busy with his own activity. She and I were talking on the phone a few days ago. She told me she really needed to go because she and Taylor were going to climb a mountain (imaginary) on their way to Taylor's bedroom.  Did I mention Jackie's goodness and how she spreads it around? Okay, I will save that for another story. Thank you, Elissa, for asking me to be apart of this fun event. Happy Mother's Day to you, to Jackie and to all the Moms!"

Happy Mother's Day J-Dub! Thanks for being so honest and open. You are rad, but you already knew that.  I adore you and I am so happy to have you in my life. 

Mom-spirations- Anna

Anna H. 

When my world was crashing down 2 years ago it was Anna that helped me stay on my feet and be there for my daughter. When Lou was born we had a very very rough 5 days of basically living in the NICU. We were in complete fear and each day brought new fears and new tests. Joey and I are very lucky to have wonderful friends and family that were there for us.  And then there was Anna. I have never met Anna, in real life. At the time she was living across the country. But somehow, for some reason we had found each others blogs and that lead to Facebook friends and she was amazing during the time Louella was in the hospital. She sent me a message that basically said that she had been following our family story for so long that she felt like part of it. She was worried for us and she sent me encouraging messages and in a way was right next to me throughout the entire ordeal. I don't think I ever told her this, but just knowing that Anna was out there, a woman with a life and a family of her own who had never met us, was thinking about us and pulling for Louella made me feel better. She wrote to me...

"I am so sorry that you've had this experience. It's going to be one of those stories that she wants to hear over and over again as a little girl. She's going to want to hear all about how she's a tough, strong little warrior who made it through the storm! "

So much better. It was what I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it. It gave me enough strength to be there for my Louella. And even when I read it now it brings tears to my eyes. Recently Anna and her beautiful girls and husband, packed up and moved to California. Maybe now we can meet one day.

I interviewed Anna and here is what she had to say.....

How many kids do you have?
I have two children. They are sixteen months apart in age. Bunny turned 8 this month and Lila will be 7 in August.

Will you have more?

We tried to have another child, but with no luck. We spent 2011 in fertility treatments, but facing month after month of failed pregnancy attempts was too hard on my family. Eventually we decided to stop

trying and decided to enjoy what we have rather than focusing on what we wish we had.

What are your feelings on helicopter parents?

I probably walk the line of being a helicopter parent, though I should be ashamed because it's perceived as being such a negative thing.  I will admit that I am probably a helicopter parent.  My thought is that I try to be as accessible to my children as possible.  I don't love that my girls are away from me for so many hours of the day and I do tend to do a lot of volunteer work at the school for this reason.  I have one daughter who always wants me to be in her classroom and one daughter who never wants me around.  That said, I never impose on my daughter who asks for more space.  I listen to the wants of my children and respond to them.  

Are you a Nap Nazi?

Nope. My girls are too old for naps now anyway, but I have one child who rarely napped, even as a newborn. I remember taking her to the pediatrician at about two weeks old and questioning all of that information out there that said that babies sleep for 20-some hours out of the day. She told me that babies who don't sleep become children who don't sleep. I am sad to report that this was true for us. People require different amounts of rest.

 Stickler for routine and schedules?

 No. I do like routine and schedules, but I will vary ours to a degree when necessary. The only thing that I insist on is that my children do their homework immediately after coming in from school and that they have a reasonable bed time. If they can't sleep, I'm okay with allowing them to just chill out in bed until they feel tired, but they need to be bathed, brushed and in bed by 8:30 each night.

Most surprising thing about parenthood?

Everything about parenting surprised me.  I hadn't spent much time with kids previous to getting pregnant with my first daughter and I doubt that I had ever held a baby until I held my own.  We were the first of our friends to have children and neither of us come from huge families.  Though this probably sounds very generic, I'd say that I am the most surprised by how much I enjoy my children and how much I learn about life from them. They have both stretched my heart more than I ever imagined possible, and they also tested me in ways that have made me realize my breaking points and boundaries and in turn grow as a person.  

Is your partner the type of parent you imagined them to be?

No, definitely not.  I'm not sure what kind of parent I thought Jay would be, but he surpasses my expectations at every turn.  He's a very hands on and present parent, more so than most dad's I meet.  I can really lean on him and depend on him and always have been able to.  He's creative and loving and definitely steps up to meet me in the middle so that my girls can have as strong a relationship with him as they do with me. 

Where did your kids names/nicknames come from?

Bunny's actual name is Kaitlyn.  She was named after my sister who passed away the year before she was born.  No one was ready to call her Kaitlyn yet, so when she was born on Easter Sunday we all began referring to her as my Bunny. Who knew that it would stick!?  To this day, all of her teachers, peers, doctors, dentist, friends and family call her Bunny.  She knows that her name is Kaitlyn, but has never felt connected to it and doesn't use it. Lila's name is from the Sweet Valley High character, Lila Fowler. Also, it's the name of the "coolest girl my husband has ever known." 

Did you enjoy pregnancy?

I had THE MOST MISERABLE pregnancy with Bunny imaginable.  I gained 80 lbs and everything ached.  I was sick and gross and swollen and uncomfortable and so emotional!  I ended up breaking my ankle at 8 months pregnant and spent the last month of my pregnancy in a cast, unable to drive myself anywhere!

My pregnancy with Lila was the exact opposite experience.  I felt so beautiful and was active until she was born.  I didn't' get terribly sick and stayed pretty emotionally stable throughout the entire pregnancy (though my husband may disagree).  When it was time to have Lila I cried because I didn't feel ready to give up my pregnancy (and maybe my sleep) yet. 

 

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever received?

Your kids don't care if the cookies you make with them are from scratch.  They only care that you're making them.  And everything is more manageable after a full nights sleep.  

What is your favorite baby gear? Must haves?

The boppy pillow. I give one to every pregnant women I know. And the Ergo Baby. These are simple things that I leaned on and wouldn't have wanted to live without.

What is your parenting philosophy?

This is a tough question.  I guess if I had to define my parenting I'd say it's most inline with attachment parenting.  I try to listen and value and respect my children.  I always want my girls to feel that they are responsible for themselves and have control over their bodies and lives.  They set their own expectations and as long as their actions reflect the people who they want to be, I am supportive of them.  I don't push them into anything, but I do follow their lead.  As a parent I feel that I am here to guide and support.  I don't feel that it's appropriate for me to choose who my children should be, but to help them and encourage them. This has worked well for our family so far.  

When you were 16 did you imagine your life would end up where it is now?

Oh lord, no. I thought that I'd be a soap opera star living in New York City.

What is the ideal Mother’s Day gift?

There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than flowers. They truly make my heart beat pure joy. Traditionally, I always get plants and lovelies to use in my backyard. I'm the sort of person who is almost always outside and the functionality and aesthetics of my yard are extremely important to me. I spend every day outside doing yard work on Mother's Day and can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

How do you keep the romance alive in your relationship after kids?

 This question has me stumped and I think it's because we are not at all romantic.  Like, my husband calls me "babe" as a joke.  We are affectionate and nice to each other, but not romantic to any degree.  We are silly and ridiculous and laugh a lot, but we don't do romance.  I guess there are small romantic gestures, like my husband will download a book he knows I want and I'll make him those special potatoes he likes... but that's more about consideration and less about romance.

How did having kids change your marriage/ relationship?

Jay and I were only dating for three months when I became pregnant with Bunny, so we haven't known life without kids.  I think it might be easier that way because we never had to make that transition into parents. This is just how it's always been.  That said, we used to drink more, that's for sure.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

 I love going on adventures to nowhere.  I like getting in the car and driving without any true destination.  We stop at any place that catches our eye, try new food, meet new people and enjoy our spontaneous adventure!  This is especially fun in our brand new state. 

What was your favorite book from childhood?

I loved The Velveteen Rabbit when I was very small.  And in Elementary school I really ate up those Christopher Pike books.  Of course, I also read the Sweet Valley Twin and Sweet Valley High book and by the time I was in 5th Grade I had devoured every VC Andrew book that I could get my hands on.   

How do you deal with discipline in your house?

 We try not to yell (though we're not always successful).  Our kids are pretty reasonable and we're usually able to talk to them about what has happened.  If they are honest with us, they often do not have consequences for their actions.  We hope to teach them at an early age that they can be honest with us and that they can use us to clear their conscience and give them good advice.  If we do have to dole out punishments, we can usually withhold things like playdates and tv.  That's pretty effective.  I think that kids need to know what to expect from their parents in terms of discipline and consistency is the key to success.
   

Do you have a picky eater? How do you handle that?

 I am arrogant enough to say that I think picky eaters are made (and I can imagine all of the parents of children who only eat nuggets and pizza rolling their eyes at me).  Of course, I have been blessed with two children who will try anything and like most things... so what do I know?  We have never allowed our children to have "special food."  They eat what we are having and have done so since they were under a year old.  I always have meals with an assortment of food on their plates, so if they don't like one thing, they can eat the other. If they don't like the other, they can be hungry. No exceptions.   

What is your favorite meal to make for your kids?

Lila loves chicken pot pie and Bunny like citrus stuffed chicken.  I once made the girls Chinese food and though it was terrible, it remains legendary in their imaginations.  

Who  is your Mom-spiration?

I hope that this doesn't sound like a copout, but I am sincerely inspired by every mom that I know.  I am inspired by women who are mindful and feel good about their parenting choices, even and (maybe especially) when they differ from my own.  I like women who are true to themselves and comfortable in their skin.    

Where do you go first when you need parenting advice?

 I definitely go to my mom first. If she doesn't pick up I call my friend Julia and listen to what she has to say. Then I ask my friend Laura. Both of these women parent similarly to me and I can trust them not to judge myself or my children when I'm honest about situations and reactions that I don't' feel good about or proud of. By the end of these conversation I usually have it figured out.

You recently moved to a new state. How did you prepare your kids for the move? 

My poor, poor children.  We were living in the city of Philadelphia for years before deciding to move out to the burbs.  Last summer we packed up our urban family and moved to rural NJ.  The girls were okay with the change and transitioned pretty smoothly into their new school and neighborhood.  None of us knew that just four months later we'd be packing up to move AGAIN.  With only one months notice we moved from New Jersey to California.  My girls were devastated.  There was little notice and because it was a corporate transfer, we had to live in temporary housing for a month while we shopped for a house to live in.  Everyone was upset, but we explained to them that just as we had moved out of the city because it would lead to a better life, we were moving to California in order to give them a better life.  We moved the week between Christmas and New Years, which was very difficult on us all. Truth be told, my girls have settled in beautifully and California is responsible for their great transition.  I mean, it is more wonderful here than we had expected and our lives are about 1 million times better in every respect.  Myself, my husband and our girls left the east coast and never looked back. 

Anna you helped me get through the worst 5 days of my life. I am very grateful for that.  Happy Early Mother's Day and I can't wait to read all about your first summer here in Sunny California.And for the record I really thought Bunny's name was Bunny all these years! 

You can find Anna and follow her California Adventures over at her blog The Rocky Holler Picture Show!