Finding Memo

 Disney flicks are suppose to be fun and entertaining. But when Lou watches Finding Nemo the kid gets stressed out!

Usually while taking a long trip in the car the girls can watch a movie and its quite and they are happy. We check out a movie for them once a week from the library and we are making our way through the Disney collection.




The girls have enjoyed Cinderella, Mulan, and Monsters Inc, but this weeks film is Finding Nemo. Throughout the whole movie Lou is in the backseat yelling....

"MOM! MEMO!"
"MOM! WHERE MEMO?"

The whole movie people.

Lou gets all worked up. She is worried about "Memo". She has seen the movie at least 5 times, but every time she stresses about finding "Memo". I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It is in the title.

The other day we found ourselves inside a Disney store. Lou was looking through the small plush toys and found this.....

She looked at me and said....

"I find him Mom"

Thank goodness for that Louie!

NERD ALERT!

We have been waiting anxiously by the mail box everyday.

 Waiting for The Phi's report card to show up.

 It finally did last week.

All A's.

All year long.

And with her report card was this...

What I hope is the first of many Honor Roll certificates.

We are so proud of our Phi. My beautiful, funny and super smart girl.

Time to celebrate!

Mi Familia- Cynthia E.

Cynthia E. 

Nickname: Chula (spanish for cute!)


Age: 36 (she has the same birthday as Joey and The Phi!)


Occupation: Medical Assistant


Status: Happily married for 7 years and counting! 


Family: Middle child, 1 older brother and 1 younger sister. 

You know how you grow-up and there is that one older cousin who you completely idolize? For me that was Cynthia. She is a year older than me, and she was the coolest. I loved how she dressed and her backpack and her shoes...... you get the idea.

 Lets take a look at some of her Instagram pics....

She is a proud Mommy of 4 kids! 

Dang that looks good. 

You know we are a sucker for a good Chuck Taylor photo. 

What a perfect picture. See nickname above! 

I asked my cousin a few random questions...

What time did you go to bed last night?

I went to bed about 11pm, thats my regular time cause I cant sleep till my kitchen is clean.

What was the last new thing you tried?

The last new thing I've tried is Drinking teas because the peeps who know me well know that I love soda, so I'm trying to drink less soda and drink ice tea's

How many photos did you take today?

I think I took about 7 pictures today (of course of my kids)  

If you could choose your last meal what would it be?

My last meal would be anything with shrimp, I la la love shrimp

If you joined the circus what act would you most want to perform? 

If I were to join a circus I would like to be a clown so I can make those cool balloons and act silly

Thanks for sharing with us Chula. And just so you know, I still think you are the coolest. 

Lulu's Sans Lulu

Last night we got all dolled up. Like dresses and button up shirts. It was our 6th wedding anniversary and we had reservations! At a nice restaurant.

FOR 2!

That's right, just for 2.

We dropped these 2 with an awesome babysitter. Yes someone brave enough to take on these 2!

We headed to Palm Springs to try out this place....

Every time we pass this restaurant it is packed. It is the hot spot in Palm Springs these days. We parked and walked over and on the front door was a sign that said they were closing at 8pm for a private event. Since I knew I had not rented out the whole place my heart sank. We walked in and they assured us that we would be seated and served, just upstairs.

We sat at a table with candlelight looked over the menu and started our 3 course meals.

Joey started with the baby mixed green salad with orange vinaigrette. I went with the wild mushroom and white truffle soup.

It looks like cream of wheat but was SO much better. 

For our main course I went with the Meatloaf a la Lulu with a mushroom sauce and Joey had the New York Steak, done Medium Rare. The food was really good.

You know a place is fancy when their mashed potatoes come like this!

And of course desserts!

Joey had the flourless chocolate cake and of course I had to have the Creme Brulee. Both were so yummy.

Towards the end of our meal the private event started up. There was even a DJ who was mixing Pharcyde with Sade. Nice!

The manager of the place stopped by our table and told us to mingle at the bar after our meal and enjoy a cocktail on the house. We didn't but that was super nice of him to offer.

Look at us. We ate warm food. Don't we look so relaxed?

We headed back to pick-up the kids and they were both happy as can be. Giggly even. And The Phi presented us with this piece of art work.

Icing on the cake.

Our 6th Anniversay

Swimming Lessons

This year we are staying at a different house at Bass Lake. From the photos it looks like the top deck has a staircase that goes right into the water. This means that since my kids can't swim they will be forced to have a life jacket duct tapped to themselves at all time. Joey and I also decided that it was time for The Phi and Lou to take some swimming lessons.

Our community pool offers lessons so I signed up the girls. They started on Monday and they are loving it. On Wednesday I snuck out of the office for a little to check out their class.

The pool is surprisingly really nice. The Phi is in a level 1 class and Lou is in a Parent/Tot class. This means Joey gets to get in the water with her every time. I am jealous.

They are learning how to paddle and kick. They use paddle boards play fun games with their instructor. The Phi is really working on dunking her head in the water. This is how far she can go.

Yea she has a lot of work to do.

I know that in 8 lessons they will probably not be ready for the Olympics. They will probably not even be able to really swim. But we want them to have a little foundation so that if they fall in they don't panic.

We want The Phi to get over her fear of getting her face wet, and we don't want Lou to develop a fear of water. That is so strange to Joey and I. We are both part mermaid.

Plus we want them to have something to do, outside, and to have some fun.

Mission accomplished.

A Family Party

When I was little there was ALWAYS a birthday party. I have a lot of cousins. Then we all grew up and stopped having parties and there was a time when a good birthday party was few and far between. Then me and my cousins started having our own babies and those babies had birthdays and the awesome family birthday parties were back.

In full effect baby.

A good party all has these things....

A very cute birthday boy or girl!

Happy 1st Birthday Andres!

Tias and Tios getting some laughs out of the kids....

Mommas trying to get their babies to nap................

Kids being silly..............

Games like limbo...................................

Fun toys to play with........................

Not 1 but 2 cakes!!!...........................

Candles and wishes............................

Babies with cake all over their face.............................

Pull string pinatas for the little bitty ones...................

Candy falling from the sky.......................

A big pinata for the big kids.............................

Hits and misses..................

Lou running in and out of the house like a million times!!

Sorry Tia Angie, she probably wore a path from the back door to the living room. And Hi Jazzy!!

Names on your candy bag so no one takes yours!..........................

And always one exhausted but very happy birthday kid!

Happily Ever After

I recently read this blog post by Lydia Netzer on her blog Shine Shine Shine. The post is titled "15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years". She gives real life sound advice. All 15 points are great but there were 5 that really spoke to me. And since it's our wedding anniversary week I thought I would share with you.

#2- Laugh if you can. 
In any fight, there is one person who is really mad, and one person who isn't mad. That person should deflect the fight. Make a joke, do something stupid or corny, make the other person laugh. If the fight is very serious for you and you feel like you really want to plant your flog and die on this hill, fine. Do it. But if you're fighting for entertainment, or because you're just reacting, then you be the one to deflect. Fights are bad. Deflecting a fight whenever possible is a good idea. When you're the one who's being pissy and raw and the other person helps you get out of it and brings about peace, that feels fantastic. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. Letting Dan (her husband) deflect a fight is the best thing, now. He does it really well. 

Okay in our house it is usually me who is really angry and Joey who is not. In the almost 10 years that I have known Joey I have seen him angry once. Stressed? yes. Frustrated? Oh yes but never angry. And it was at his brother. And he is the King of deflecting with humor. In most tense situations he always goes with the jokey-joke. I have to admit, there have been times when I have been pissed and one of his dumb comments will make me crack a smile. No matter how much I fight it that smile will creep on my face and the tension is broken and things can move one.

#3- Don't criticize. Ever
Here is a fact: Whatever critical thing that you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. And if it's true, she already feels like crap about it. Assuming you married someone intelligent enough to like you and sane enough to let you put a ring on it, trust that they are self-aware enough to know when they screwed up. It may feel good to you in the moment to say the critical thing, let it go ringing through the air in all its sonorous correctness, but it will feel awful to hear it. The only, only way it's beneficial to give your wife criticism of any kind is if you're absolutely positive she is completely unaware. And you better find the nicest, kindest way possible to tell her. And even then, good luck convincing her. The recognition of the thing you are helpfully trying to point out will be INHIBITED, not facilitated, by your criticism. And then you're the asshole. So be careful


So I have always believed this. It is something that I learned from previous relationships. And it is not easy. There are times when I want to yell a big old "i told you so" are point out how he messed up but like Netzer says. He is already thinking it, he already knows it. I can tell. And by me even saying it out loud is just cruel and  mean. And being mean makes you ugly.

#10- Stop thinking temporarily. 
Marriage is not conditional. It is permanent. Your husband will be with you until you die. That is a given. It sounds obvious, but really making it a given is hard. You tend to think in "ifs" and "thens" even when you've publicly committed to forever. If he does this, I won't tolerate it. If I do this, he'll leave me. If I get fat. If I change jobs. If he says mean things. If he doesn't pay more attention. It's natural, especially in the beginning of your marriage, to keep those doubts in your head. But the sooner you can let go of the idea that marriage is temporary--and will end if certain awful conditions are met--the sooner you will let go of all kinds of conflict and stress. Yes, you may find yourself in a horrible situation where it's absolutely necessary to get a divorce. But going into it with divorce in the back of your mind, even in the way way way back of your mind, is going to stay with you. Inhabit that and figure out how to make THAT work, instead of living with the "what if's" and "in case of's." 


For both Joey and I this is our second marriage and I know that I went into marriage #1 with the mentality that I could always get a divorce. And lo and behold I did! This time around I threw that option out the window. Joey and I joke that he promised me 40 years together, but this thing we have it is permanent. The future is Joey and I, old, together, always. That's it. It makes a difference on how important you marriage becomes to you and how hard you are willing to work at it.

#12- Make a husband pact with your friends. 
The husband pact says this: I promise to listen to you complain about your husband even in the most dire terms, without it affecting my good opinion of him. I will agree with your harshest criticism, accept your gloomiest predictions. I will nod and furrow my brow and sigh when you describe him as a hideous ogre. Then when your fight is over and love shines again like a beautiful sunbeam in your life, I promise to forget everything you said and regard him as the most charming of princes once more. The husband pact is very useful because you want to be able to vent to your friend without having her actually start hating your husband. Because you don't really mean all those things you say. And she, the swearer of the pact, know this. 


I love this! This could be a boyfriend/husband pact. I have always believed this. I can listen to everything a friend has to spew about her/his significant other. And if at the end of the crisis they chose to stay with that person that is their decision. And the next time I see that significant other I will hug then and smile. It is not my life and as a friend I will be there in whatever decision you make.

#14- Be loyal
All the crap you read in magazines about honesty, sense of humor, communication, sensitivity, date nights, couples weekends, blah blah blah can be trumped by one word: loyalty. You and your spouse are a team of two. It is you against the world. No one else is allowed on the team, and no one else will ever understand the team's rules. This is okay. The team is not adversarial, the team does not tear its members down, the team does not sabotage the team's success. Teammates work constantly to help and better their teammates. Loyalty means you put the other person in your marriage first all the time, and you let them put you first. Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse's whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and sometimes the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it's your turn. Sometimes she's in the spotlight, and sometimes you. Ups and downs ultimately don't matter, because team endures. 


So freakin simple. I have always thought of it as Joey and I against the world. I think of us as a small gang who would fight to protect each other and our marriage. Loyalty is such an amazing thing. Is the word loyal in the wedding vows? It should be. Maybe replace obey with be loyal.

Joey and I are not perfect, our marriage is not perfect. But our marriage is good. I am so thankful for that.

Cassandra Update

So remember when I posted an interview with my cousin Cassandra?

Well her boyfriend Martin read the post and it was so good he thought to himself.....

"Elissa is right! Cassandra is amazing. I love her so much and want to be with her forever."
(this is a total assumption but I am pretty sure this is exactly what he was thinking)

So a few days later.....

he proposed. 

She said yes. 

Welcome to the family Martin!

Michael Jackson is Back!

When I was a kid I was all about the pop music. I dreamed of being the next Rick Dees and would even record myself doing intro's to all my favorite songs. Being a child of the 80's I loved Madonna, Culture Club and of course Michael Jackson. I became slightly obsessed with "The Making of Michael Jackson Thriller" video. I think it was because I was/are kind of a chicken and the actual music video was kind of scary. By watching how they made the video made it less scary for me. 

ANYWAYS.... I really loved Michael Jackson as a kid. One of the coolest things I had was a big tapestry. This was way better than a paper poster. It hung on the wall next to my canopy bed. The yellow in his vest matched the yellow walls of my bedroom. I loved this thing. And then one day apparently I grew up and took it down and Mom put it in a give-away bag. 

I know! Who would ever put this in a give-away bag! 

Lucky for me, my Nana has hoarder tendencies and must have taken this out of the bag and stored it in her house because when my Mom and her sisters were packing up the house they found it!

Last weekend we headed to Santa Barbara and in our bedroom I saw this. A cloth with Jackson written all over it. I thought it was a bag and didn't look at it again until the next morning. I glanced at it and something sparked in my brain. I immediately knew what it was and I cannot tell you how happy I was to see this again.

Of course it came home with me.

Lou used for size comparison and cuteness.

 I tacked it up just for some photos and Lulu was intrigued. She started chanting "jackson! jackson!"

Then I told her to give me her best Michael Jackson face....

NAILED IT!

So now the hard part now is trying to find the perfect place in the house to put it.
 Because of course its going up!
Duh.