How do I make them more appreciative?

It was a tough weekend. On Thursday The Phi gave me a big wake-up call. Her little comment reminded me that everything that I do for this family goes not only unnoticed but unappreciated. No one cares when I make the home-made name tags, or clean up the kitchen every day. Take the pictures and keep the Netflix list undated. No one seems to notice that all the bills are paid and I remembered when the next family party is or what time. No one cares that I put together menus and every grocery list. These are all things that I do that no one appreciates. As I thought more about it the more I came to realize that my entire day is spent giving them every ounce of what I have to take care of them, working to provide for them, and keeping all the balls in the air. Every ounce of strength is used making sure that our family and our house stays standing. The thing is I love taking care of my family. The problem is that in our house there is no one to take care of me. As a Mom I have always sacrificed new clothes or a pedicure for them. Their wants and needs always come before mine. That's just what a Mom does. I am thinking about them 24/7 but there is no one thinking about me,  my wants or my needs. There is never a thank you or anything close to it. There is a lot of times where I feel like the maid/nanny, the person who comes in and cleans up after everyone, bathes the kids, combs their hair and then disappears into the shadows when I'm not needed. I have literally given them the shirt off my back and the food off my plate. And they take it all and don't even look back. It's a hard job and it seems to getting harder. As the kids get older its harder to use their age as an excuse for their unappreciation. I am the one who makes them say thank you to other people, but there is no one there to remind them to thank me. It's not the same when I have to constantly say "please thank me for making dinner".

I know I am not the only Mom who deals with this. I can remember my Mom going on "strike" at one point. It's hard, it sucks and its not fair. But so is life.

Family.....Always

I have always thought of my family like an exclusive club. A very big exclusive club. And you either are born into it or "jumped" in. Okay maybe its more like a gang. But a really really nice gang that only does good things but most importantly watches out for each other. 

I don't get to see my all my "homies" as much as I would like to but last week we got to spend some time with my cousin Santiago, his beautiful wife Jasmine, my Tia Helen and their 5 beautiful babies. 

The only other time that my kids and my cousin's Santiago's kids met was at a wedding last summer so they didn't really remember each other. When we came to the door Angelina asked Phi and Louie excitedly...

"Are you my new cousins?" 

It didn't take too much time for Phi and 6 year old Adrian to bond over video games, or for Louie, Angelina and little Selina to get into the dress-up box. As the adults sat around the dining room table and talked and laughed the girls came in and we got this picture of them. 

Louella, Angelina and Selina.
Louie refers to them now as "My Girls" 

It's it amazing how much the girls look alike. I love how they look like they belong together. Because they do. There is no 2nd cousin twice removed stuff. They are cousins, they are each other families, no matter how often they see each other. Just look at those beautiful round chubby Gomez faces. There is no denying it. I love that.

I have some great childhood memories of heading to Escondido to visit my Tios and my cousins Santiago and Andy. I can remember, a plastic kiddie pool in the front yard, goats that looked like Sammy Davis Jr, and trips to Sea World where me, my sister and my Pops got our faces painted. I loved going there and spending the days with my cousins. They were always so nice to my sister and I. Even though they were boys, they were never rough-and-tumble with us. They were so polite and shared their toys and it was just a really good time.

My Tia Helen and my Mom were friends before my Mom started dating my Dad. (Helen is my Dad's younger sister). And on our trips down there you could see that. I can remember my Mom and my Tia taking over the kiddie pool and talking and laughing.

It was weird that it was now my cousin Santiago and I sitting at the table, talking and laughing. And it was OUR kids running around and playing nicely together. It was strange because it's still sometimes hard to picture myself as the adult. The fact that our parents seem to never age doesn't help either. Its hard to imagine my cousin and I as anything but those kids running around in the San Diego sun during the summers.

But we are the adults now, and we are doing the best we can to raise the next generation, the new little "vatos" of our gang/family, as best as we can. 

And reminding them that they are part of this big beautiful (super friendly) gang. 

Kindness is the Most Important Thing

Right in the middle of our day at the Safari Park, The Phi and I were wandering an area that looked so much like Bass Lake (BASS LAKE!). Of course we loved it. I asked her if she wanted to stop and have a snack and that's when my favorite part of the day happened. 

We found a bench next to a pond. Phi read the sign on the bench and I explained how people donate in peoples name and they get things like benches for people to sit on. 

"Kindness is the most important thing" 

Phi really liked this saying and said that Louis M. Paltin must have been a nice person. 

We sat on the bench and we each had a granola bar and just sat.

 When all of us are together we never really just sit. Joey is always ready to move on to the next thing and Phi and Lou are anxious to follow along. On this trip we just sat. Sometimes in silence and sometimes talking.

We took silly pictures and talked about school and work and blogging and anything else that crossed her mind.

At one point, we were sitting quietly watching ducks in the water when The Phi told me....

"Mom I wish I had my book with me. This is a perfect place to read". 

This melted my heart. Partly because I have really tried to raise her to be a lover of books. And also because I was thinking the exact same thing. She may be a spitting image of her father but there are parts of me starting to come out in her. 

Like with most families with more than 1 kid, having one-on-one time with each kid is hard to do. Field trips like this allow us for amazing bonding time. During the day The Phi told me "Mom I forgot how fun you are.". I couldn't even be upset by that comment because I know where it came from. Life is busy, its fast and the days are filled with school, work, family obligations, meetings, dinners, etc..... When I have less than an hour of free time to spend with my kids a day it always with both girls at the same time. 

This day with my Phi reminded me that when you take away the busy days, the homework, the frustrating nightly showers, the "STOP SCRATCHING"'s, The Phi is one hell of a kid. She is funny, and smart and just super freaking cool to hang out with. 

Safari Park Adventure (Part Dos)

The second part of our day was spent wandering the Condor Trail and souvenir shopping. The Phi was a real trooper and had a blast checking out the trees and birds. 

The condor trail had a great condor exhibit at the end (duh!). I really liked this area because it was based off California wild lands.

 Then it was time to pick a souvenir from the trip. Of course we had stopped by the shops along the way but The Phi really liked this compass/binocular set she had seen near the tram ride. First we picked up a little something for Louie and then started to make our way to the back of the park for Phi's gift. On the way there we ran into her teacher and a group of kids and parents from her class. Her teacher and I were talking when 2 ducks started making their way towards us. One duck was biting the feathers of the other duck and it was trying to get away. As they got closer the duck lost its grip and the other duck attempted to fly away. Right towards us! Phi's teacher got hit in the back by the duck! She was fine but it was hilarious!!!

We finally made it to the little gift shop and Phi got her compass/binocular thingie. Which of course I should have bought when we first got there so she could see the animals close up. #parentingfail.

Joey called about 4:15 to let us know that he was in the front waiting for us. I asked him if he had some change to get Phi a smashed penny. (side note: where the heck did I put those!?) He did so we headed to the front gate and he handed me the change and Louie waltzed right in, since she gets in for free! 

I took her just a few yards into the park to see some tropical birds. Louie was not having all the squawking and screeching. 

Since poor Joey was all loner at the front gates we headed out of the park. Phi gave Louie the gift she got her. A Diego book about some weird animal he rescues. 

My crew. 

The animals and tram rides were fun but I was surprised at what was my favorite part of the day. I'll tell you all about next time...... 

Safari Park Adventure (part uno)

Last week The Phi's class went on their first field trip of the year! A tad bit late into the school year but well worth the wait. One of us always goes with Phi on her field trips (we would both go but sibling are strictly forbidden!) and we let Phi decide who gets to go with her. For this trip she choose me (yea!!!) because she wants Joey to go with her to Sea World! (boo!!!). 

We have never been to the Safari Park in San Diego so it was a really cool adventure for The Phi and I. 

Waiting to get in and scoping out the map. She is just like her Dad with the maps! 

As with most field trips its started a bit chaotic. Joey drove us out to SD and spent the day with Louie. Even though we all meet at the school first and left at about the same time, most of us spent a good hour waiting outside the park.

Once we got it the park we headed straight for the tram tour. Located at the back of the park this was a fun way to start the day. Lots of big animals roaming around to see. 

After the tram ride we were free to explore on our own. So Phi and I took off and ate some lunch. 

The Phi and the view from our lunch spot. 

While eating The Phi busted out her map and wanted to map out the day. I let her look things over and then folded the map and said "You know Mom doesn't do well with maps. We are just walking around and following signs today". 

So off we went to explore. Just me and my Phi. I was pleasantly surprised to see so many different kinds of animals and so up close! 

The pelican reminded me of my Comadre Irene and this story she told me about pelicans and feeding their young. 

Tata what are you doing here?? 

We stopped by and had a chat with Robert the Zebra. A really fun interactive show where Robert the Zebra talks to the kids in the audience. Phi told her horse joke and totally killed it. She even had the parents laughing.

Clever sign positioning! 

Seeing Phi and this baby gorilla hanging on the Momma gorilla hit home for me. This is me everyday after work. 

Petting Zoo's are not mine or Phi's cup of tea but when in Rome!

I know I'm bias, but man she is one beautiful girl!

We spend the first half of our day just walking around and seeing what we could see. Stay tuned for part 2 of our adventure. Because of course there are many more pictures!

Phi & Mom's Book Club- Month 3

For March The Phi chose to start the Dork Diaries Series. As a Valentine's Day gift we gave The Phi a gift certificate for one ebook for the Kindle. She has been wanting to read this series since she saw it at Target next to the Wimpy Kids books (she loved those!). So we downloaded Dork Diaries: Tales from a not so fabulous life by Rachel Renee Russell, and jumped right in.

Phi's Review: I LOVED this book so much. I loved all the characters. Nikki, Brianna was so cute. I liked Brandon and even Makenzie. I liked the way this book was like reading someones diary. All the pictures were so cute. I loved the part when her parents just walked into her room without knocking and she said "Why don't you just move in?" and then it showed a picture of her family living in her bed. It was so funny!

Mom's Review: I was a little concerned that this book would be a little to mature for Phi. The only things I didn't love was the "shut ups" and the "stupid" that was thrown in there a lot. Besides that it was a really fun read for us. This series is based on Nikki Maxwell, a junior high student. She is a self-proclaimed dork. She deals with the popular girls and has a crush on a boy named Brandon. The best part was that Phi loved this book so much. Whenever we sat down to read she refused to give me a chapter to read. She wanted to read it all. She even asked me to read more often.

So for April you can guess what book we will be reading next.....

Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So Popular Party Girl! 

When Flat Stanley Came to Visit...

Have you heard of this school project? Each student makes their own Flat Stanley and them picks a person to mail him to. That person keeps him for about a month and takes Stanley around with them. This of course is documented. After Stanley is done visiting you, you are suppose to send him back with a letter and some pictures of his adventures. So Phi was super excited to receive a Flat Stanley in the mail from her BFF Isaiah. Stanley has been with us for over a month now and it is time to send him back. 

So you've met me right?????

We couldn't just send a letter with pictures. We are sending Stanley back with his own photo book. 

This is such a cute project! We hope that Isaiah's class enjoys the photo book!

 And the best part! 

Phi's class sent out their own Flat Stanley's! 

Just guess who Phi sent hers too???