Punk Rock Parents: How do I make them more appreciative?

Sunday, March 31, 2013

How do I make them more appreciative?

It was a tough weekend. On Thursday The Phi gave me a big wake-up call. Her little comment reminded me that everything that I do for this family goes not only unnoticed but unappreciated. No one cares when I make the home-made name tags, or clean up the kitchen every day. Take the pictures and keep the Netflix list undated. No one seems to notice that all the bills are paid and I remembered when the next family party is or what time. No one cares that I put together menus and every grocery list. These are all things that I do that no one appreciates. As I thought more about it the more I came to realize that my entire day is spent giving them every ounce of what I have to take care of them, working to provide for them, and keeping all the balls in the air. Every ounce of strength is used making sure that our family and our house stays standing. The thing is I love taking care of my family. The problem is that in our house there is no one to take care of me. As a Mom I have always sacrificed new clothes or a pedicure for them. Their wants and needs always come before mine. That's just what a Mom does. I am thinking about them 24/7 but there is no one thinking about me,  my wants or my needs. There is never a thank you or anything close to it. There is a lot of times where I feel like the maid/nanny, the person who comes in and cleans up after everyone, bathes the kids, combs their hair and then disappears into the shadows when I'm not needed. I have literally given them the shirt off my back and the food off my plate. And they take it all and don't even look back. It's a hard job and it seems to getting harder. As the kids get older its harder to use their age as an excuse for their unappreciation. I am the one who makes them say thank you to other people, but there is no one there to remind them to thank me. It's not the same when I have to constantly say "please thank me for making dinner".

I know I am not the only Mom who deals with this. I can remember my Mom going on "strike" at one point. It's hard, it sucks and its not fair. But so is life.

2 comments:

  1. This honesty is so refreshing. This is motherhood in all its inglorious truth! THANK YOU! Your honesty gives many mothers a chance to say "someone gets me." THANK YOU! One day, they'll appreciate you just like you grew to appreciate your mother. One day... Until then, THANK YOU for giving it your all, always. You're a remarkable wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. THANK YOU FOR THAT TOO!

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  2. Anonymous9:07 AM

    You're friend is right. I know I'm not a mom, and I don't really have a say, but my perspective is the one who's doing the underappreciating. You know I'm the youngest of the Ricos and heck, all the first grandchildren. Everything was always handed to me on a silver platter. But as I got older I truly did notice all the hardwork my mom does. I love her and can never repay her for it. I loved everything she did for me, I just didn't realize she wouldn't mind hearing that 'Thank you' every once and while. Phi and Lou are being raised right, so I know they WILL come to appreciate you!
    -Seli

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