Monday, March 02, 2015

How La Santa Cecilia Helped Me Begin to Heal

We had got home a little after 2am and about 6 hours later my Mom called to say that my Tata had taken his last breath. And just like that my world fell apart around me. Throughout the last few weeks Joey had really stepped up, driving us back and forth 2 hours each way at all hours of the night, taking Phi to school and taking care of Louie even more than he already does. He had also bought me tickets to see one of my favorite bands, La Santa Cecilia at UC Riverside for Valentine's Day. The show was that night. He gently asked me if I wanted to skip it or go. It was totally up to me. I decided to go. 

To some going to a concert that day the most influential man in your life passes away may seen mean and cold-hearted. But if there is one thing that I know, from growing up with a musician Dad, getting through my teen angst and heartbreaks, in falling in love with Joey, in rocking my babies to sleep at night, is that music is powerful. It can bring you to your knees and it can heal you. I needed that because I was so sad that I was afraid that I had lost all things good. I felt that I would never ever feel passion again. I was afraid that the things I loved would not mean anything to me anymore. 

Live shows make me feel alive. They always have. They are one of my happy places and what I do to de-stress. This show was "Noche Cultura" and it started with Ballet Folklorico dancers. Traditional dances from different regions of Mexico. It was beautiful and the girls fell in love with the "very twirly" dresses. There was also a couple who sang corridos and had silly banter back and forth with each other. 

My sense of cultural pride is deeply rooted into who I am. A big part of that is because of my Tata. I am so very proud to be his granddaughter. To come from this man and represent him. I am so proud of him and being Mexicano is a big part of him and is a big part our family. 

La Santa Cecilia took the stage. This was my first time seeing them live and from the first note I could feel it. In the depth of my soul and heart I felt every word she sang. 

I cried through most of the show. I cried from pain, loss, pride, hope and love. For the first time since having to say goodbye to him, I felt my Tata with me.

I am so glad I decided to go to the show. It was exactly what I needed at that moment in my life. I reminded me that life is still good. I made me realize that my Tata is with me, always, and there is so much beauty in the world to show him. 

I am so grateful that I was able to thank Marisoul, the lead singer of La Santa Cecilia in person after the show. I was able to hug her and let her know how her voice and her band helped me so much that night. 

1 comment:

  1. your post brought me to tears. Thinking of you and your entire family. So glad you got so many years with him. He sounds like such an amazing man.


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