As the news started coming out about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary I could not even begin to wrap my head around it. My heart is broken and I am so upset and so very sad. Every parent, or really any person who has a child in their lives put themselves in the shoes of the parents of Sandy Hook Elementary students. And I became terrified. Shaking with the fear that this happened, in this country. In a school. Every day I drop my daughter off at her school. I kiss her face and head to work and go about my day. I leave my daughter, my heart, 4 miles away from me, 6 miles away from her Father. The idea that there are people out walking the world capable of shooting kindergartners sickens me. It scares me and makes me want to grab my children and never ever let them leave the house. Because there was nothing that those parents could have done. They could not protect their innocent children. As a parent nothing scares me more. The idea that there are people that for whatever reason takes the lives of innocent people in such a horrible way.
I had been watching the news constantly yesterday. Then, because he knew that I was desperate to see my kids, Joey brought the girls to my office. As soon as the door opened I turned off the news. Phi walked in excited about her day. She walked in with a birthday hat on her head because they had celebrated her teachers birthday. She had no idea what had happened on the other side of the country. In a school so much like her own. Joey and I had decided that if we could we were going to keep the news from Phi. We just couldn't figure out how to even approach the subject without leaving her scared to go to school.
I don't know what the answer is. I don't know what has to happen to make sure something like this never ever happens again.