Thursday, March 19, 2009

you make an ass out of u and me

So The Phi had an dermatologist appointment yesterday. She is making her way through the medical field. We have been dealing with The Phi's skin issues since pretty much day one. Her pediatrician sent her to an allergist and then they send her to a dermatologist.

So after his office rescheduled the appointment 3 different times we finally got to the appointment day. Our appointment was at 4:30. We got there at 4 to get the new patient paperwork done (That took 1 minute) and we were not called in until 5.

Sitting in a waiting room with no kids books or toys with a 3 year old is fun. NOT

So we get in there and the doctor was able to offend me 3 times in one visit!

1. He assumed that I spoke Spanish. He started to talking to me about eczema and kept throwing in every Spanish word he knew. He didn't know many. This one happens a lot. I let out my heavy sigh and replied. It took him a while to finally get it. I can speak English. Don't let the brown skin fool you.

2. He assumed we were poor. Now I know that The Phi's hair isn't always perfectly combed but come on. He was telling me about the different kinds of eczema lotions out there and told me...
"if i was paying and you had a choice would you pick a Pinto or a Mercedes?" duh the Mercedes. Then he goes "but if you were buying it yourself you would get the Pinto because you couldn't afford a Mercedes" WHAT! excuse me. Do you have access to my bank accounts. Do you know how much money we make? Do you even know what we do for a living? Do you know what kind of car I drive? I gave him a look of complete disgust. So what I got from his little question was that there are good high end lotions out there but YOU can't afford them. So I was like "How much is the high end lotion?" He would not answer the question just kept saying it was really expensive. Finally I was like "Is it $10,000 a tube?". He said "Probably like $100 a tube" .

3. He assumed I had no education. He said ".... you know like when you are in college? Oh you probably don't know." By this point his assumptions were not shocking me and instead just told him that I indeed earn a few degrees in my day, from reputable universities even. Maybe next time I could wear my framed degree like a necklace.

Now this medical center we go to is not a free clinic. I did not come in waving my medi-cal card. I walked in, paid my co-pay for the insurance we pay a good chuck of money a month for. Okay maybe he does see a lot of Spanish speaking patients, and maybe a good majority are poor and never went to college, but that does not give him the right to make assumptions about anyone who walks into his exam rooms.

Does this happen to anyone else? Is it just me?

And just to make sure that I really loathed this guy he didn't even really look at The Phi. He glanced at her, said it was eczema and that I chose to have her, I chose to have a baby with a person who had a history of eczema as a child, (he seriously said those too things!) So it was my cross to bear and my problem to deal with because there is no cure for eczema. She will maybe grow out of it. I looked at this man and said....

"I know that. But look at her (The Phi is sitting there just scratching away at her arms and head) she is constantly scratching. She scratches until she bleeds and hurts. My child, who I chose to have, with the man that I love, is in pain and you are telling me that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait for her to grow out of it? Do you know what it's like to watch your kid scratch at herself everyday all day long?"

He really didn't respond and instead wrote me a prescription for some more potent steroid cream.

Oh and he even gave me some samples of the "expensive" stuff.

FU Dude.

We get in the car and I strap The Phi in. She asks me, "Are you mad Momma?"

I looked at her, pulled at my collar and said....

"I get no respect"


  1. I'm lily-white, and have never had this problem. However, I think this man is an ass. No "good", Dr. would treat anyone like this. Change Dr's, fast. I had one child with allergies, not skin, Look for a Pediatric Allergist. They're out there and you'll get better results.

  2. put in a complaint. you should have told him everything you were thinking. what an ass!!!

  3. I have a present for you. I'll email you.

  4. Anonymous12:55 PM

    unbelievable.... speaking of creams, I know of one... I will get you the info.

    I feel ya too, getting no respect... at least you don't look 15 like me, I am insulted constantly.

  5. I cannot even BELIEVE this, coming from a doctor as you describe! EVEN FOR CALI!! Change doctors. ASAP. Oh and please let me know who so I NEVER go there. LOL

  6. I get that sometimes too.(Hispanic). I broke right now but I've got a bach. degree and speak perfect english. I'd change dr.'s too. He's not really interested in doing his job but putting in his 2 cents. My nieces and nephew had eczema and they did grow out of it. Bath and body works has this lotion that is really good for the skin for eczema, Mustela, derma- pediatrics. I had a cousin too who had a daughter and she had eczema too and what she did is when she cam out of her bath she would put petroleum jelly on her body and wrap her in bandages and it helped her out. And to keep the Phi from scratching her legs at night my sis used to sew the socks on the kids pj's so they could scratch themselves w their feet. whew sorry so long. hope i could help a little bit.

  7. good grief, reading my post can't even tell i went to school. oh well! it's not a term paper1 lol ;-)

  8. What an ass, seriously.

  9. Oh my god. I can't believe you didn't kick his ass. The ignorance is unbelievable sometimes. Sophomore year we had to go to a Medi-Cal office to pick up an application and they gave me a regular one, no questions. My Latina friend went up right after me and asked for the same exact thing--they gave her the application as well as information about WIC and other day care information. It's ridiculous.

  10. Anonymous5:12 PM

    Wow. That's all I can say. Next time give him a piece of your mind. JVS

  11. File a complaint with the medical board. Sounds like discrimination to me. If your family Doctor refered you to him let your Dr. know also.They appreciate the feedback on referrals. I've had enough with bad Dr's in this past year I could write a book. Don't let him get away with it.

  12. That sucks. Time to take The Phi to another doctor.

  13. Anonymous4:59 AM

    I can relate to how you're feeling...and I'm white. People assume that because I have a lot of children, that I am uneducated & poor. Mommies at the playground, teachers at kid's school, the school nurse, name it. They do the same shit. They talk to me like I'm an idiot...always mention the "well, we do have a fund that can help people who need it...." , apologize for cost, try to "educate" me...whatever.It happens ALL the time. It's so frustrating. Usually when i open my mouth and they realize I actually have a brain and can complete structured sentences that make a lot of sense, they look dumbfounded.

    And it's worse now that my step-children,who are hispanic, live with us. There's so many scenarios I've encountered where the assumptions about ME based on their race is astounding.

  14. Seriously. This choad is a quack. You did not deserve that treatment, neither did the Phi! I get the same treatment often when I use WIC. The checker sighs/rolls their eyes as they ring up my free milk and peanut butter and HEAVENFORFEND I pick the wrong brand of cereal, they reply "Uh, this doesn't qualify for WIC, do you need something else?" loud enough for the other people in line to see. I never say, "Yes", I just have the bitch keep checking. Its demeaning and infuriating.

    If I were you I would sue his ass, that is, if I thought it would do any good - its fantastically unfortunate that men like him, in his profession, are allowed to treat us latinas like this, and nothing can be done about it legally.

    Illegally, on the other hand... do you happen to know what car he drives? I can think of lots of things that can be poured into a fuel tank.

  15. Anonymous1:24 PM

    Yes, file a complaint with whoever you can- the medical board, the university he rec'd his MD from, your local mayor, etc.!!! Imagine how he treats others who are not able to speak up for themselves b/c of language, gender, shyness, etc?

  16. Anonymous3:15 PM

    Next person who does that gets a lecture, okay? The nerve. (Just don't get yourself punched in the process.) (Uh, not that I would know anything about that.)

    How else are people going to learn?

    My pet peeve is when people say, What a weird name! about my kids' names (not typical Anglo names).

    You probably already are doing this, but the only thing we've found that works for the eczema is Eucerin cream, slathered on. (The lotion has alcohol, i think? but the cream has worked wonders over here.)

  17. This is insane!

    I would totally put in a complaint to SOMEONE. Some one in charge at that office, maybe?

    How awful.


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