Punk Rock Parents: I tried to trade her for a Dachschund today

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I tried to trade her for a Dachschund today

The Phi is out of control. She is still in a mood and has become Monster Phi, and to top everything off she pissed herself during one of her tantrums this morning. My cousin in Hawaii sent pics of a new Dachshund puppy. I emailed her back to see if she would trade the new puppy for Monster Phi. I am still waiting for her response.



(This is what Monster Phi looks like, but red and blotchy. And usually doing this half whiny half crying sound. Oh yea and with wild curly hair.)


And this is after yesterday. Oh man yesterday sucked. We worked our normal shift with Monster Phi in full effect. We had errands to run after work and I told her to go pee before we left. Monster Phi refused. So we went to Wal-Mart to buy allergy meds to get rid of all these damn hives I have been experiencing. Then we had to buy an adapter for a toy she got for Christmas. So we had to walk through the dreaded toy aisle. I found the adapter I wanted, I found it on the top shelf. There were signs everywhere saying, "Please ask for assistance for items on the top shelf". I started to wander looking for someone in the blue apron to help me. I could not find one person, and God knows they were not at the registers because only 2 of the 22 were open. Anyways as I was wandering trying to find someone Monster Phi spotted a Wiggles book. After about a 10 minutes super monster melt down She finally pried herself away from the book. Even her screams did not summon a worker and so I walked back to where the adapters were and God must have wanted to give me a break because there was one adapter on a bottom shelf. I grabbed it, and we headed to the self-checkout to get the hell out of there. Then we had to stop at the library. We had a video and book due that day. Oh man, little did I know it would be our last trip there for awhile.

Okay first you need some back story. We were at the library about a month ago. It was night and we were looking through books. Apparently in order to work at our local library you have to have absolutely no social skills or common sense, or even manners. There is a strange man that works there and while we were looking at kids books he asked me how old The Phi was. I told him and he directed me to the board book section, all 5 of them, telling me that those would be better because "she can't t-e-a-r or r-i-p them." I was thinking ummm thanks a-hole but my kid knows not to rip books. So we keep looking around and then we headed to the adult section so I could try to find a book. (not like xxx rated section) The Phi told me she had to go potty, so we head over to the bathroom. There is a big sign that says we need a key so we go back to the desk and Mr. Spell Everything Out is behind the counter and I ask him for the key. There is someone in the bathroom so we have to wait. As we are waiting he tells me "I will tell you something if you can take a joke" so I am like "Okay" and he goes, "If its an emergency we ask you wait outside in case of accidents." I stare at him with a 'get some freakin tact' look on his face. And I am thinking if you don't want kids ripping books or having accidents then you should put a big sign on the door that says "WE DON'T ENCOURAGE READING FOR TODDLER, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR CHILD OUTSIDE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WELCOME HERE".

Okay back to yesterday. We had just walked into the library and I turned in our books and was looking at the new arrival section and The Phi was climbing onto a chair. I picked a new book and The Phi told me she had to go potty. So I told her we had to get the key and picked her up to head to the counted. As I was walking to the counter I shifted her onto my hip and noticed she had had an "accident". Her pants were soaked and I was like "Damnit, today sucks". I saw Mr. I Hate Children out of the corner of my eye so I threw my library card at the lady, checked out my book and bolted for the door. We power walked out of there and strapped The Phi in and as my tires screeched I thought, great now we can't go to the library anymore. But them I thought, that's okay they suck anyways.

2 comments:

  1. i cant wait till the twins are potty training!

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  2. mija all the things that the Phi is doing is her way of trying to get her way. Don't let it get to you so much, it will work out. As for the a-hole at the libary im sure this mom hates him. Hang in there.
    Love Pops

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