Thursday, December 05, 2013

Like a Time Machine

I took this picture of Phi last weekend. And after I edited the crap out of it I looked at it and everything about this reminded me so much of me at this age. The short hair, the baggy tops, the sideways hat. When I was Phi's age I chopped off my hair. I wore this yellow Felix the Cat cap everywhere I went. I carried a purse with who knows what in it. Lately I have been finding myself trying to persuade Phi to wear certain clothes, or wear her hair a certain way. This picture stopped me. It looked like me and it reminded me of what it felt like to be this girl. Searching for my identity, my individuality. I remember taking cues from my older cousins, about what to wear and what was cool. I can see The Chone's influences in Phi everyday. I need to keep this picture handy. To remind myself what 8 years old feels like. To remember that TV and media are already in her head about what to wear, she doesn't need her Mom to push her to be something she isn't. To give her some space to wear clothes she wants, wear a hat everywhere, cut her hair off. (Today she is wearing a purple sweater that is a size too small with purple pants). She is in a stage where she is starting to feel the need for some independence, to figure out who she is,  but will still hold my hand in public. She reminds me so much of me and really I am honored because my Phi is one really cool kid.

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