Punk Rock Parents: Joey can make a super model feel insecure

Friday, May 25, 2012

Joey can make a super model feel insecure

I have mentioned it before but Joey and I have very different personalities.

I am Ernie and he is Bert.
I am Elmo and he is Oscar.
I am Tigger and he is Eeyore.
I am sunshine and rainbows and he is rain clouds and thunder storms.

Joey does not give out compliments.
I think it physically hurts him to say anything nice to someone.
You know how most people say that their spouse is their biggest fan.
Well around here my spouse is my biggest critic.
If I have him read something I wrote he will point out all the typos.
If I give him a photo I made to look at he will tell me the colors are off.
If I make him dinner he will tell me that the dish would be better with spinach.
If I take hours to do my make-up, my hair and put on a new dress he will tell me that my shoes don't match.
This man can make a super-model feel insecure.
His brain is wired to find the errors. It does not mean he doesn't like my writing, photography, cooking or my face.

He has never once told me that I was pretty.
Not when we were first dating.
Not on our wedding day.
Not on the days I birthed his children.
I have asked him about this and his response is..
"You know how picky I am about everything and I married you" 
Well he is a weirdo crazy OCD perfectionist.
So maybe he has something there.

People have commented to Joey and I how they admire our relationship. How good we are together and what a good marriage we have. I really believe that we have a good relationship because of this...

 from day 1 we both knew that the person standing before us was never going to change.

We got into our relationship not expecting or even wanting the other person to change. You can't get into something as serious as, together forever, assuming that the other person will eventually become the person you want them to be with. You have to be with the person they are. You have to think to yourself can I be with this person, exactly as they are, forever? I knew from the start that Joey would never shower me with compliments and I don't expect him to. I don't need him to. If I had married Joey and assumed that eventually he would become a romantic who constantly tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, I would be one disappointed person which could become a problem in our relationship. And if Joey had married me and expected me to change. For example if he assumed that I would eventually love vacuuming the house, he would be disappointed. This is not to say that people don't change. They do, but you can't base a marriage on expecting the other person to change.

I truly believe that this little thing gave our marriage a very solid foundation.

And even though he doesn't say it.
I know my husband thinks I'm hot.
I see him staring when I walk away.


4 comments:

  1. Believe it or not, Bob and Joey have much in common!

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    1. Really? It's funny after we had dinner with you guys we thought that you and Bob were so much like Joey and I. You know us the fun outgoing types and Joey and Bob the silent handsome types!

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  2. This is very true. You have to accept the person who you are with as they are. Everyone has their own relationship dynamic and though you say that he could even make a supermodel feel insecure, it doesn't sound like he really makes YOU feel insecure. It sounds like you get it and can read what he appreciates, even when he doesn't use words to express it.

    In my relationship I married someone who is not a talker. He just doesn't have full conversations. I don't know why. He listens well and when something is bothering me I can talk to him, but I can't expect him to talk back. There will be loooooonnnnnnggggggg pauses in our conversations, where I wait for him to say something... ANYTHING and he doesn't. When it gets to the point where it's uncomfortable he might pat me on the back or the knee and look at me with sorry eyes. lol. And he might even change his behavior... but I will never know what went on in his head. ever. I've just accepted it.

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    1. When I read your comment I had to giggle because your Man works for twitter. 140 characters or less!

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