When I was pregnant with The Phi I did not think twice about breastfeeding her. It was just something that I would do for all the right reasons. Then The Phi was born and I couldn't breastfeed her. I even had La Leche league come out to make sure I was doing everything right. The problem was I wasn't producing any milk. I could pump for an hour to get one drop. So on to formula we went. Of course only a few years later we would get the long ass list of The Phi's allergies and I will forever blame myself because I wasn't able to breastfeed her.
This time around I became obsessed with learning all I could about breastfeeding. The best holds, and proper latch on techniques. I felt more prepared and armed myself with an expensive (and borrowed) pump. I wasn't going to let anything stop me. Louella was born and within the first hour she had latched on. So already we were doing better than last time. Then just like her big sister Lou became jaundice and was taken away to be put under lights. She needed more fluids so they taught me how to finger feed her with a tube and my finger. We came home from the hospital and I was still determine to breastfeed and then Lou landed in the NICU for 5 days. Now they encouraged beastfeeding they would weight the baby before feeding and then again after and if the baby did not get enough it would be formula time. Since I wasn't at the NICU in the middle of the night Lou got her first bottle there. I was bummed.
After coming home from the hospital the second time Lou was now use to 3oz of formula from a bottle. Now I had been pumping every 2-3 hours while at the hospital but I knew I wasn't producing 3 oz. But we forged ahead anyways. Now nursing is suppose to be natural. I mean animals can do this so imagine my surprise when I could not get Lou latched on correctly. I was in constant pain and the thought of having to put the baby to my nipple was agonizing. I went to a lactacion consultant whomwas encouraging. I tried using a nipple shield. I pumped often. But it was still painful and my milk supply was still low. I tried the mothers milk tea, fenugreek, blessed thistle, drinking a beer, eating oatmeal. Nothing was working. So my doctor prescribed me Reglan. A heart burn medication who's side effect is increasing the hormone you body produces to tell it to produce breast milk. So I started the pills and they worked. There were mornings that I was able to pump 6 oz! Believe me after the horrible time with Sophia 6 oz of breast milk
was a whole hell of a lot to me.
We are now at a point where latching on has improved and nursing is not too
painful. I don't dread feeding her and today she went all day without formula. This is great! Well it should be great. The problem is this Reglan pill has a price. And not just my co-pay. The most common side effect when prescribed to a nursing mother is depression. And over the last few days this side effect has hit me hard. I am a mess and it's awful. I'm constantly crying and anxious and stressed. These feelings of course come through in my breast milk and poor Lou had to have a suppository today for her constipation.
So here's my dilemma. I keep taking the pills because we are so close to having Lou off formula and make Joey and The Phi deal with the depression
Or go off them and run the risk of losing my milk supply, and keeping Lou on formula and not giving her a chance against allergies (if she has them or will develop them). Of course best case would be I go off them and my milk supply keeps up with Lou's appetite. You know like every freaking cow, horse, sheep and pig can do.
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