One year later...

It has been one year since I received the phone call that changed our family forever. I was awoken by a phone call from my Tia telling me that her son, my cousin Roman had lost his battle with muscular dystrophy. One day before his 20th birthday. Yesterday my family gathered at mass and then at his grave site. We could not be there and instead we visited on Saturday. As we got to his resting place I noticed a beautiful big white flower piece. It took me a few minutes to realize that the flowers were from the bride and grooms table from my cousins wedding the week before. It was that thought that crumbled my heart into a million tiny pieces. It brought me to my knees. I put my head down and cried. The day we buried him was clear in my mind. I could hear the crying, see my Tia and Tio and my Cousins. I could feel the unbearable pain that made it hard to breath. The sadness still has not gone away. I then began to remember the last time I spoke with Roman. It was Christmas 2006 at Nana and Tata's house. He had received a new wrestling video game. He had lost the muscles in his hands and asked me to hold the game up so he could see. We talked a little about his game and we joked and talked about some music. That was it. I hugged him when we left and that was the last time I would do that. Roman was an amazing man. He was strong despite the disease that ate his muscles. He was funny and he loved music, metal music. We had him much longer than we should have and we are forever grateful for every moment we had with him.

We miss you so much Roman. The hurt is still so strong. We take you with us. All of us take you with us everywhere we go and in everything you do. We know that you are watching over us. Thank you for watching over my sister when she was in the car accident. For always being in my heart and helping us be better and stronger people. My family has turned to each other in our grief. You have brought us even closer together (I didn't think that was even possible!).

I love you Roman.

Rest In Peace